The New Yorker Post is claiming that Florida is a “snoozefest” compared to New York.
I guess it is.
- We don’t have impromptu boxing tournaments where half a dozen “teens” beat a single man senseless.
- Hey, we may eat early down here, but at least our ATMs can stay open after 5 p.m. without fear of being robbed.
- Our eco-tourists have fewer rats to look at.
The truth is:
- We aren’t all old.
- Yes, we eat early down here. I usually eat dinner before 6.
- No, we don’t have crocodiles, you moron. We have alligators. You must have learned that in your superior New York education you are bragging about.
- We have hurricanes. So what? We aren’t pussies about it. Remember “Superstorm” Sandy? Yeah, that was a Category 1 storm. Pussies.
- No, we don’t all sit around waiting for you to hand us money to drive your mother around.
On the other hand:
To the NY Post: please, please keep telling New Yorkers that Florida sucks. We don’t want your liberal asses and their votes down here. Stop trying to turn Florida into the southern annex of New York. We don’t care how you do things “up north” or even want to hear, “Well, up in New York, we…”
We don’t care, as long as you keep your liberal ideas, taxes, and votes up in New York, where they belong.
9 Comments
Echo Hotel · January 23, 2023 at 2:32 pm
Well my wife does call it Snorlando or Borlando (she’s from that area). 😉
Divemedic · January 23, 2023 at 2:36 pm
Orlando can be a fun and entertaining city, as long as you have the cash.
J J · January 23, 2023 at 4:19 pm
Just another liberal woman (excuse me for assuming gender) spewing forth whatever venom oozed from its brain that day.
Joe Blow · January 23, 2023 at 4:35 pm
Yep, I tell everyone EastTN is nothing but inbred rednecks, better stay away from the whole state.
Billy Pilgrim · January 23, 2023 at 5:50 pm
Went with pappy back in the late 90’s and some hot half naked babe with petite frame camped out right in front of us as we lounged with some cold beers and clams on the beach.
He regaled me with tales of the good old days of driving right up to the water’s edge.
The motion of the ocean is very soothing with boats off in the distance and the bikini scenery was very nice as well.
Spotted a sea snake trucking towards the waves, a manta from the bridge and an alligator crossing the highway!
Beans · January 23, 2023 at 11:26 pm
Oops, we do have crocodiles in Florida. Both native American crocodiles, very few, but native, and the occasional import have been seen in the coastal areas south of Miami.
Yes, alligators vastly outnumber American crocs, but they are here.
Divemedic · January 24, 2023 at 12:32 pm
2000 crocodiles versus 1.3 million alligators
Sardaukar · January 27, 2023 at 4:26 pm
I tell everyone who asks that Montana is almost like the ‘Yellowstone’ series, but more MAGA Cowboys, Militia types, rabid grizzly bears and psycho bisons (AKA Murder Cows). Sadly it doesn’t seem to help.🙁
Vermont Farm Wife · January 28, 2023 at 2:13 pm
Vermont used to be a reasonably sane and fairly conservative state until just a few decades ago when city people (NYC, Boston, anywhere in Connecticut and New Jersey) moved here in a giant tsunami, full-time, and brought their stupid voting habits with them. Now we have Bernie Sanders (grifter) and the newest ‘representative’, Becca Balint (no one to her left) as a result.
Night life? Nope. Excitement? Not much if you don’t ski or hike. I invite tourists who want to experience the ‘real Vermont’ to come help muck our livestock barn and poultry coop. We do get seriously frigid, way-below-zero temps and hefty snow, for which some flatlanders have not yet learned to dress properly, preferring fashion over utility.
On the other hand, the state is stunningly gorgeous, extremely safe and crowds anywhere are rare outside of a week or so in the fall and ski season, and then only if you live near-ish to a resort.. You can even drive on the Interstate and not see another vehicle. If you stay away from the woke hives (Montpelier, Burlington, Middlebury, Brattleboro) you’ll be surprised at how many sensible non-lefties live here.
Oh, and if you drive around, watch out for moose. It’s not like hitting a deer. No alligators though.
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