The story, if it happened today

BREAKING NEWS: Seventy-Two Killed Resisting Gun Confiscation In Massachusetts. National Guard units seeking to confiscate a cache of recently banned assault weapons were ambushed by elements of a Para-military extremist faction.

Military and law enforcement sources estimate that 72 were killed and more than 200 injured before government forces were compelled to withdraw. Speaking after the clash, Massachusetts Governor Thomas Gage declared that the extremist faction, which was made up of local citizens, has links to the radical right-wing tax protest movement, which has been blamed for a number of terrorist acts, including the destruction of valuable cargo that had been located on ships in the Boston harbor.

Gage blamed the extremists for recent incidents of vandalism directed against internal revenue offices. The governor, who described the group’s organizers as “criminals and cowards” issued an executive order authorizing the summary arrest of any individual who has interfered with the government’s efforts to secure law and order.

The military raid on the extremist arsenal followed wide-spread refusal by the local citizenry to turn over recently outlawed assault weapons after Gage issued a ban on military-style assault weapons and ammunition earlier in the week.

This decision followed a meeting in early this month between government and military leaders at which the governor authorized the forcible confiscation of illegal arms. One government official, speaking on condition of anonymity, pointed out that “none of these people would have been killed had the extremists obeyed the law and turned over their weapons voluntarily.”

Government troops initially succeeded in confiscating a large supply of outlawed weapons and ammunition. However, troops attempting to seize arms and ammunition in Lexington met with resistance from heavily-armed extremists who had been tipped off regarding the government’s plans.

During a tense standoff in the Lexington town park, National Guard Colonel Francis Smith, commander of the government operation, ordered the armed group to surrender and return to their homes. The impasse was broken by a single shot, which was reportedly fired by one of the right-wing extremists. Eight civilians were killed in the ensuing exchange. Ironically, the local citizenry blamed government forces rather than the extremists for the civilian deaths.

Before order could be restored, armed citizens from surrounding areas had descended upon the guard units. Colonel Smith, finding his forces over matched by the armed mob, ordered a retreat. Governor Gage has called upon citizens to support the state/national joint task force in its effort to restore law and order. The governor also demanded the surrender of those responsible for planning and leading the attack against the government troops.

Some members of the Congressional Democrat leadership have called for the Governor to bring the full might of the military against the citizens in the area, up to and including aircraft and drone strikes on neighborhoods.

Samuel Adams, Paul Revere, and John Hancock, who have been identified as “ringleaders” of the extremist faction, remain at large.

If 1775 were today

Breaking: A man calling himself Patrick Henry, who stated that war is “around the corner” arrived at a meeting of terrorist extremists in Virginia, determined to persuade his fellow terrorists to adopt a defensive stance against the government. He put forward a resolution proposing that Virginia’s counties raise militiamen “to secure our inestimable rights and liberties, from those further violations with which they are threatened.” Henry has already taken it upon himself to raise a volunteer outfit in Hanover County, and the FBI is investigating this development. Nevertheless, many extremists balked at approving any measure that might be viewed as combative, as some still held out hope for a peaceful reconciliation.

“I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided,” Henry said, “and that is the lamp of experience. I know of no way of judging of the future but by the past. And judging by the past, I wish to know what there has been in the conduct of the Democrat party for the last ten years to justify those hopes that this will not end in violence or tyranny?”

After several extremists had spoken on the issue, Patrick Henry said “Are fleets and armies necessary for reconciliation? Has the United States any enemy in this quarter of the world to call for all this accumulation of navies and armies? No, sir, she has none. They are meant for us; they can be meant for no other.”

Just over a month ago on February 14, the domestic terror group calling itself the “Provincial Congress” released its manifesto, declaring that the government was engaged in what the terrorists called “intolerable acts.”

In a speech before Congress in December, then President-elect Biden denounced the “daring spirit of resistance and disobedience to the law” which seems to be spreading like wildfire across the American continent.

Henry continued his speech, “Our petitions have been slighted, our remonstrances have produced additional violence and insult; our requests have been disregarded; and we have been spurned, with contempt, from the foot of the throne…we must fight! I repeat it, sir, we must fight! An appeal to arms and to God of Hosts is all that is left us!”

“The war is actually begun!” Henry cried. “The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery?” As he spoke, Henry held his wrists together as though they were manacled and raised them toward the heavens. “Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty”—Henry burst from his imaginary chains and grasped an ivory letter opener—“or give me death!”

If 1775 were now…

Breaking- February 9. The President ruled that Domestic Violent Extremists were in a state of rebellion.

In response, a group of these extremists calling themselves “The Provincial Congress” released the following statement:

In Provincial congress, Cambridge, February 14. Whereas it appears necessary for the defense of the lives, liberties, and properties of the inhabitants of this nation, that this Congress on the first day of their next session, should be made fully acquainted with the number and military equipment of the militia, and men in this province; and also the town stock of ammunition in each town and district.”

The statement was signed by a man calling himself “John Hancock,” whose name has been associated with a known violent extremist group calling themselves “minute men.”