Categories
fun Humor

SWAT team dance

Sung to the tune of “Safety Dance” with apologies to Men Without Hats:

S-s-s-s, W-w-w-w, A-a-a-a, T-t-t-t
SWAT, SWAT, dance!

We can search if we want to
We can inspect your friends’ behind
‘Cause your friends don’t bow and if they don’t scrape,
Well they’re no friends of mine

Say, we can go where we want to
A warrant you’ll never find
And we can rewrite the Constitution
Leave the real one far behind
And we can dance

We can go when we want to
The night is young and so am I
And we can dress real neat from our helmets to our feet
And surprise ’em with the no-knock cry

Say, we can act if we want to
Question us, nobody will
And we can shoot some dude, he’s totally screwed
And I can act like an imbecile

We can dance, we can dance
Totally out of control
We can dance, we can dance
We’re doing it from wall to wall
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody put up your hands
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody takin’ the cha-a-a-ance

We can search if we want to
We have auth-or-i-ty
As long as we abuse it, never gonna lose it
Everything’ll work out right
I say, we can search if we want to
We’re protected by a thin blue line
‘Cause your friends ain’t cops, and if they ain’t cops,
Well they’re no friends of mine

Categories
fun Humor Me

Day Off for Date Night

My wife and I are going to Orlando today for a nice meal and to see Fluffy’s Stand Up. Here is a sample:

This is likely to be the only post of the day.

Categories
fun Glory Days

Skidmarks

Miguel posts about the Norwegian military reissuing the used underwear of discharged service members. One memory of my own time in the military makes me cringe to think about having to share skivvies.

When I first reported to the fleet, everyone who was E4 and below had to report for 90 days of “coop cleaning.” The coop was the compartment where about 200 of the sailors in the engineering department lived. There was one E4 and three sailors E3 and below who were assigned as coop cleaners. It was their job to clean the berthing compartment and its attached head.

Inside of that compartment were two laundry receptacles: one for dark clothes, one for whites. Twice a week, the coop cleaners would put the clothes into 60 pound bags and take those 5 or 6 bags down to the laundry to be washed. When those clothes came back clean, the coop cleaners would place them on each person’s rack (bunk). It was rather nasty. Imagine what 300 pounds of laundry that was worn in a hot, humid environment by 200 sweaty guys for a 16 hour workday smelled like after fermenting for three days in a common laundry locker. Yeah, it smelled like a mixture of ammonia, grilled onions, cheese, and farts.

One of the funniest traditions we had was to pin the skivvies with the largest skid mark to the bulletin board that was located next to the laundry bin. Since your name was on the skivvies, you were subject to ridicule. We had one guy, his name was Crenshaw, who regularly had skidmarks that were 6 inches long and two or three inches wide. He didn’t care one whit about the ridicule he was subjected to. Every laundry day, his underwear and its large skidmarks would go on display.

So no, I would rather go commando.

Categories
fun Me

I need the lift

The world catches up with us. We all need a lift, including me. Lately, all of the talk of our nation’s collapse has gotten to me. So today is going to be a break from that.

One of my favorite things each November is that the holiday music channels begin broadcasting Christmas music. I spend most of November and December listening to old Christmas music from the greats: Louis Armstrong, Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, and others. I drive my coworkers nuts with it.

I find it to be uplifting and a great relief from the problems of today’s world. With that message, I leave you with my favorite Christmas song:

Categories
fun

Pissing Off Liberals

These stickers are becoming quite popular in my area.

You can get 100 of them from Amazon for ten bucks. Then you stick them onto fuel pumps, right next to the display for the price.

Categories
fun

Stunts

I read about an injury on the set of America’s got talent. It was an escape stunt where the stunt man was suspended between two swinging cars. The man needed to escape in order to not be crushed by the cars.

He didn’t make it in time and was seriously injured.

My opinion is that the so called stunt man was an untalented amateur who had no idea what he was doing. The people in charge of that show are no better. The situation is perfectly summed up by Penn Gilette.

I believe it’s morally wrong to do things on stage that are really dangerous. It makes the audience complicit in unnecessary risk.

Stunts like this should carry the APPEARANCE of danger, but not the reality. This is how a professional does it:

Categories
Anti American left fun

The left hates Rush

The 1980s Canadian rock band Rush is apparently hated by the left. It seems that the band’s drummer, Neil Peart, was a huge Ayn Rand fan. (Incidentally, I think that Peart was one of the greatest drummers of all time.) Since Peart was the writer of most of the band’s lyrics, many of the band’s songs had significant libertarian themes.

No, his mind is not for rent
To any god or government.
Always hopeful, yet discontent
He knows changes aren’t permanent –
But change is

Tom Sawyer, by Rush

The author of this story says that Rand had objectivist fantasies of self-reliance before going on to lament that some members of Congress “would rather leave billionaires untaxed than take care of America’s children.” I wasn’t aware that it was the responsibility of billionaires to care for America’s children.” He ends the article by saying “So, in closing, fuck you, Rush.”

Rush wasn’t my introduction to the ideals of liberty and freedom. For me, it was Robert Heinlein’s excellent fiction. Rush just gave those ideas a tune.

Fuck Rush? No, fuck you commie leftists.

My three favorite Rush songs (in no particular order) are:

Tom Sawyer:

The Spirit of Radio:

Then there is Red Barchetta, a song about the joy of driving a car in an era where cars have been outlawed, proving that Rush was truly ahead of their time:

Categories
fun

You get what you pay for

So I am going to have to disagree with Linda on this one. She states that the liquor being rationed due to shortages is only expensive because men use expensive liquor to impress women. Liquors that cost more aren’t just for impressing women. As a person who is a fan of Tequila, I can tell you that price is usually related to quality. Like most things, the more the quality, the more you pay, even though there are some exceptions.

Most people you meet who tell you that they don’t like Tequila have usually only had Jose Cuervo Gold when they were in college. That swill is only good for college frat boys to get themselves and the cheap tarts they are chasing drunk enough to rub genitals. The lower end Tequilas (like the aforementioned Cuervo Gold at $15 a bottle) are horrible for any purpose. They taste like paint thinner and cause horrible hangovers.

Many “house Margueritas” that get sold by bars and restaurants are made from this junk. If you are going to drink these at a bar, ask what their call brands are, and pick a better one. I always avoid Cuervo.

The middle Tequilas usually cost $30 to $60 a bottle are good for mixing drinks like Margueritas. My go to for this is usually Herradura. I am partial to Reposados, and the Herradura Reposado runs about $45 a bottle. Don Roberto is decent for making drinks and costs about $35 a bottle. Another that I recommend is 1800, which also runs about $35, as well as Casa Noble.

At the low end of the sipping Tequilas, Cincoro runs about $80 to 100 a bottle. This is a good enough Tequila that you don’t want to be covering up the taste with mixers. Do not waste your money getting an expensive Tequila mixed drink. You drink good Tequila straight, like a good sipping whiskey. I use whiskey stones to chill it, because the melting of ice waters down the wonderful, smooth taste of a good Tequila.

One of the Tequilas on the above rationing list is Don Julio 1942. A bottle of that will set you back $150, but it is a great Tequila for sipping. Other Tequilas in this price range that I will tell you are just as good: Clase Azul, and Casamigos.

Remember earlier when I said price usually equals quality? The exception to me is Patron. Everyone gushes about the quality of Patron. I don’t like it. My opinion is that Patron is overpriced and overhyped.

If you are one of those who like good spirits, try one of the high end Tequilas. If you are a fan of Margueritas, try a good mixing Tequila and follow the recipe below, you will be surprised at the difference it makes:

  • 6 ounces of Herradura Reposado Tequila
  • 8 ounces Grand Marnier
  • 8 ounces lime juice
  • 6 ounces simple syrup 

Mix the above in a pitcher, then pour over ice into a glass. I like mine without salt on the rim. My wife chooses to salt the rim of her glass. YMMV.

As usual, I gain no profit, nor do I have any financial interest in the products on this page. I simply am a customer and a fan.

Categories
fun

Genius

Some serious time, effort, and skill went into this piece of satire. Every time I watch it, I catch something else.

Categories
fun

Navy sound effects

For those of you who want to have Navy flashbacks, there are all kinds of sound effects.