Differences

Let me illustrate the difference between men and women by telling you about my upcoming cruise. We are leaving on Monday morning for our cruise ship, which is a 4 hour drive away. This is how cruise preps go:

Me:
I begin preparations by making a checklist a week before the cruise. I begin packing on Thursday, four days before the trip. I do laundry on Friday night, and my suitcase is 90% packed by Saturday morning. By Sunday at 4 pm, I am packed and ready to go, except for my toothbrush and medication, which I will put in my carry on bag on Monday after I get dressed.

Her:
She tells me that I am crazy to begin packing on Thursday, and spends the evening watching TV. By Sunday, she still hasn’t packed. At 5 pm on Sunday, she decides that she needs to go buy some clothes for the trip. She accuses me of “showing off” and “throwing it in her face” that I am packed, because I put my packed luggage next to the door. We return from clothes shopping at 8 pm. She spends the time from 8-10 pm looking for missing clothes, which she accuses me of misplacing when I did laundry.

She sits on the couch at midnight, erasing the memory card for her camera. She asks me to empty the dishwasher because she still isn’t packed. At 1:00 AM, she gets mad at me for playing Kerbal Space Program on the computer. I pointed out that I was packed two days ago. That starts a fight that lasts until 1:30.

We have to get up at 5:30 AM to leave, and she still is packing at 2 AM. By 2:30, she is looking for her passport, but still isn’t packed, and somehow this is my fault.

Vent complete.