Nancy Grace and Brian Williams and a tough old U.S. Marine Sergeant
were captured by terrorists in Iraq . The leader of the terrorists told
them he would grant each of them one last request before they were
beheaded and dragged naked through the streets.

Nancy Grace said, “Well, I’m a Southerner, so I’d like one last plate of Draper Valley fried chicken.” The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with chicken. Grace ate it all and said, “Now I can die content.”

Brian Williams said, “I want to take out my tape recorder and describe
the scene here and what’s about to happen. Maybe, someday, someone will
hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.” The leader
directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Williams dictated
his comments. He then said, “Now I can die happy.”

The leader turned and asked, “And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final wish?”

“Kick me in the ass,” said the Marine.

“I’m NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,” insisted the Marine.

So the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the ass. The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm on six terrorists, then with his knife he slashed the throat of one, took the terrorist’s AK-47, and sprayed the rest of them with gunfire, killing another 11. In a flash, all of the terrorists were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying Grace and Williams, they asked him, “Why
didn’t you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him
to kick you in the ass?”

“What?” replied the Marine, “and have you two assholes report that I was a racist aggressor…..?”

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1 Comment

Anonymous · July 17, 2013 at 11:17 pm

Holy HELL that's the best laugh I've had all day!

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