Girlfriend contract

I saw this story about a woman who came up with a 17 page “contract” that her boyfriend was expected to sign– just two weeks after they began dating. Her demands included things like he pay for date nights, buy flowers twice a month, and work out five times a week.

Reducing relationships to be a business matter? You think you get date nights paid for, flowers every two weeks, and I have to stay in shape? What do I get?

OK. But if this is going to be a contract, here is my counter offer:

I agree to stipulate to your conditions. However, I have a few of my own:

  • Blowjobs at least once a week. If you fail to perform in this manner, I get to fuck someone else.
  • If at any time, you are unable or unwilling to perform in a sexual manner, I get to fuck someone else.
  • If you gain more than 10 pounds, your flowers and paid nights out cease until that weight is lost, and I get to fuck someone else.
  • If at any time, the woman has an affair, there is a penalty clause. You agree that this places you in immediate default, and must pay an “early termination fee” equal to one half the cost of all date nights for the previous 6 months.

Don’t like those? Then I am not signing your one way contract that benefits only you. You demanding this shows that you have no respect for your man.

The man? Him signing it proves that he has no respect for himself. This woman is a selfish bitch. He is an effeminate cuck.

7 replies on “Girlfriend contract”

While your stipulations about sex and weight are important in the first part of a relationship, here’s where we really get to the meat of it!

1 – If I ask what you want for dinner and you don’t provide an answer, I get to pick anything I want and you can’t complain. EVER.

2 – If I ask you what’s wrong and you shrug your shoulders and say nothing, I’ll assume it’s nothing and go mess around in the garage for the next 6 hours. You can’t complain about it. EVER.

3 – If I ask what you want to watch on TV and you say whatever, then we’re watching a violent action movie (like, say, the Wild Bunch with William Holden) and you can’t complain. EVER.

4 – If I ask if you want to do anything this weekend and you saw not really, then I’m going fishing. You can come with me or stay home. But you can’t complain about it (EVER) because I gave you a chance to speak up.

I could keep going, but you get the idea.

LOL. All of this assumes that the man in question isn’t a raging pussy. We all know that this guy is, and he therefore won’t care about all of that stuff.

Women will sign, then just ignore it.

Anyway, I stumbled on some utubes about women looking for men, and the comment sections are almost exclusively men, young and old, saying they are not interested in long term relationships anymore. Tired of them wanting to be “treated like a queen with the power of a king and the accountability of a three yr old”. Then when it goes to hell, they get half the stuff without contributing aby of it. Have sex and Boom – instant 50% partner. And that’s hte best case as it obviously gets worse with things like paying child support to some woman who is now living with the neighbor and probably in your house.
Sign a contract ? -wild hysterical laughter-

This goes right back to a common theme: There are very few categories of people where it is acceptable to attack them, and the most obvious of them is the straight, white male, especially those of the conservative variety.
In today’s society, straight, white men are the cause of all evils in society and must be made to pay both literally and figuratively.

Knew an oilfield hand in the 80s bringing home 4K monthly. Refused to get married.

Said he paid $500 monthly rent (nice place in those days). Then paid a maid another $500 month to clean his place and cook supper, placing it in refrigerator. His other bills ran another $2K. Said he always had a clean place, no one nagging him about a cooked meal and he was late…….and $1k to “chasing pvvvvv” (his words, you get the picture) a month.

We used to have a contract stipulating long term relationship expectations. I think we called it marriage. Then we got the ability to breach this contract with no real consequences (no fault divorce).

Realistically, a relationship only works when neither side treats it as a tit-for-tat or zero-sum game.

Funny thing is that socialism is effectively what happens in a healthy family relationship. Another funny thing is that is the only place it really works.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.