I saw this story about a woman who came up with a 17 page “contract” that her boyfriend was expected to sign– just two weeks after they began dating. Her demands included things like he pay for date nights, buy flowers twice a month, and work out five times a week.
Reducing relationships to be a business matter? You think you get date nights paid for, flowers every two weeks, and I have to stay in shape? What do I get?
OK. But if this is going to be a contract, here is my counter offer:
I agree to stipulate to your conditions. However, I have a few of my own:
- Blowjobs at least once a week. If you fail to perform in this manner, I get to fuck someone else.
- If at any time, you are unable or unwilling to perform in a sexual manner, I get to fuck someone else.
- If you gain more than 10 pounds, your flowers and paid nights out cease until that weight is lost, and I get to fuck someone else.
- If at any time, the woman has an affair, there is a penalty clause. You agree that this places you in immediate default, and must pay an “early termination fee” equal to one half the cost of all date nights for the previous 6 months.
Don’t like those? Then I am not signing your one way contract that benefits only you. You demanding this shows that you have no respect for your man.
The man? Him signing it proves that he has no respect for himself. This woman is a selfish bitch. He is an effeminate cuck.