If you live in Florida, you more than likely live under an HOA, POA, or some other deed restricted community. The reason for that, is more than 80% of Florida residential property is governed that way. It’s a fact of life in the Sunshine State. I wish that it wasn’t so, but wishing is for children. Since we have to live in reality, there is only one answer.
All politics is local. You have to be involved. I initially showed up to the HOA meetings to be a pain in the ass. I was the guy in the back of the meetings who pointed out that they weren’t allowed to do whatever harebrained thing they were discussing. Then I got roped into being on the board. That was 4 years ago.
Since that time, I have slowly recommended new board members from people that I know I can trust. There is me, another retired firefighter from up north who is as conservative as they get, a retired golf pro who was once sanctioned by the HOA for having FJB and Q flags, a woman who is friends with my wife and drinks Tequila with us, and a couple of others.
The only issue then is busybodies that want to come to meetings and stir the pot. We got that this week at our quarterly meeting. This woman who owns property in the neighborhood but lives elsewhere bought a home for her unemployed hardcore leftist so decided to show up with a list of demands.
- She was complaining that people’s landscaping lights can be coded messages. For example, blue lights mean support for cops. She mentioned blue lights at least three times during her rant. The only lights that should be allowed are white, according to her.
- Some people are parking RVs and boats in their driveways
- The colors that some people paint their houses is ugly
- The neighborhood needs to decorate for holidays like Christmas, Halloween, etc.
I explained to her that I was one of the people who had colored landscaping lights, and I didn’t change the colors for political reasons, but because I liked the different colors. I do red, white, and blue for July, Orange for October, and multicolors for the Christmas season, and if she didn’t like it, I don’t care.
I pointed out to her that the HOA can’t require any of those things because they are not in the governing documents. We can’t legally just make up any rules that we wish. We are bound by those documents. So she demanded that we change them. Well, says I, we can’t change them on a whim. There is a process that takes months, we have to mail out notices to all people who live there, at least 2/3 of the residents have to approve, then it has to be published, etc.
I also explained to her that, even if she were to get a rule prohibiting RVs and boats from parking in driveways, we don’t have the legal ability to prevent people from just parking them on the street in front of their house.
She said that we should just vote on the neighborhood’s Facebook page. All of the people in the neighborhood, according to her, should just do the right thing and be good, friendly neighbors and just do as she asks. (Her exact words)
My response was not nice. I told her that a good friendly neighbor would mind her own business and stop trying to control other people and their property. Then I pointed out that Facebook doesn’t get a vote in how I choose to run my own property. She left in a huff and wants to get up a petition to get the rules changed. I told her that her petition won’t get anywhere because those of us on the board already have enough votes in our pocket to prevent her from reaching the 2/3 threshold. That’s how voting works.
Those of us on the board collectively own or have the proxy votes for about 25% of the property in the neighborhood. That would require that she get 90% of the remaining property to agree with her- and actually show up to the meeting to vote in support of her position. That is nearly impossible.
We will see how much of a pain in the ass she can be, but I will say that this is the exact type of asshole that I am on the board to prevent. I also changed all of my landscaping lights to blue, just to piss her off. She can kiss my ass.
14 Comments
Joe Blow · August 24, 2023 at 6:30 am
The dynamics here are interesting, to say the least. I always find human nature fascinating. I should have been a psychologist. While I 100% agree with you HOAs suck, and this woman in particular seems like a difficult case. I’m struck by the polarity. You start out decrying these organizations and how they’ve become tools for petty tyrants. You stated you started going to the meetings to deliberately BE that pain in the ass resident. Now you’re sucked into the machine, a part of the Matrix, and complaining about the PIA resident you used to be.
Sitting around her kitchen table it is you who has become the petty tyrant. I’m not saying she is right and you are wrong, just look at the situation from a different viewpoint. You have become that which you despise.
Imagine colored lights = rainbow pride flags. Would you see it differently?
I used to live in an HOA, and there was ONE HOUSE in the neighborhood (with the highest melanin content on the block) and the rules never seemed to apply to them – infuriated me to no end. Could this be analogous?
And you close by bragging that you have the votes you need to maintain your grip on power and will never cede to the opposition!!!
Man, mirrors don’t get enough work these days.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I agree with you, can only imagine the cuntiness this Karen exudes… why I don’t live in an HOA now, but all the same, look at what you’ve become from an impartial viewpoint? You are literally behaving like the type of HOA you and I despise. Just happens to be you’re the one dishing out your terms, instead of being on the receiving end.
Dylan did a great job with “God on our side” with this topic.
Divemedic · August 24, 2023 at 9:35 am
The difference is that I am using the power of the board to prevent rules from being passed. That’s the opposite of what she is doing.
This is why libertarians fail. They want to be ideologically pure instead of facing the reality of political power.
Birdog357 · August 24, 2023 at 6:53 am
Why not disband the HOA? Then none of you have to put up with the bullshit.
Anonymous · August 24, 2023 at 10:11 am
Why not disband the HOA?
I suspect a local legislature demands there to be a HOA, roughly similar to some model code. I suspect the legal requirement is, any new development of more than a few homes must be approved by the permitting board as a unit, and approval requires a HOA. Residents could reject the HOA as Intolerable Acts by refusing to obey them, but then they’d actually have to refuse to obey them. Meanwhile, Karen the HOA church lady is massively turned-on by controlling other people, and if you ignore Karen the NPCs who back her will snitch you out.
I think libertarians fail because a) nearly all don’t realize they are permanently a few-percent minority, b) most are as naive as Norman Rockwell, and c) most are militant pacifists and will snitch out non-pacifists. L. Neil Smith thought himself a gun person, but was so anti-collateral-damage he would not permit a working defensive military.
Ppm · August 24, 2023 at 10:18 am
Some localities require that new construction have an HOA, so the city doesn’t take on the burden of those new roads. If that’s the case here, seems like DM’s approach is the best. If the HOA is just doing roads and common areas, there’s less chance for people to be catty.
Birdog357 · August 24, 2023 at 12:35 pm
Screw the city, you pay property taxes for a reason. I’d like to see a LAW that says an HOA can’t vote itself out of existence.
Divemedic · August 24, 2023 at 1:27 pm
It can, but there are issues that go along with that. More on that later.
Laughing Gator · August 24, 2023 at 9:01 am
I live in Florida as well and I too HAD to join my HOA as well to stop the nosy Karens from running it. Unless you live out in the country with a lot of land and are out of sight of the neighbors, you really NEED an HOA. Otherwise there are people who won’t take care of their property, put cars on blocks, half the houses will rentals (rented to trash), etc.
That said, like Divemedic I joined my HOA because the HOA had to pay thousands in legal fees a few years ago. Why ? Because the nosy Karen running it at the time kicked in the clause that repainting your house in a different color required HOA approval. This was created to prevent hot pink and fluorescent yellow houses in the neighborhood. Well these people painted their house white and the Karen lost her crap and sued and the homeowner counter sued.
Funny thing is the white house looked nice. So, the next election me and a bunch of my neighbors voted her ass out. Of course since it was my idea, guess who got elected ?
D · August 24, 2023 at 9:27 am
> I also changed all of my landscaping lights to blue, just to piss her off.
Heh. Have you checked the rules to see if you can put up a Christmas decoration similar to Musk’s new Twitter/X logo that strobes at eleventy billion candlepower in the direction of her house?
Gerry · August 24, 2023 at 10:12 am
My brother is on his HOA for the same reason you are, stop the BS right up front.
My sister is a raging Karen of her condominium association.
I live in the country, no HOA for us.
Hard to believe we are related.
Rick T · August 24, 2023 at 11:36 am
I can see adding a rule that only Resident property owners can vote on HOA matters. If you don’t actually live in the area (drivers license, etc) you don’t get a say in how things are run since it doesn’t actually affect the speaker.
Skeletor Works For Us Now · August 24, 2023 at 1:04 pm
This is why we can’t have nice things. Busybodies who can’t even run their own affairs deciding what is best for the collective under the new civility unity hive.
Transplants and new Jacks arrive somewhere and think that the place was built just last week as their Play-Doh ball to fundamentally transform.
They should call a meeting and demand that Obama pay their mortgage and fill the gas tank.
Just wait until the replacements find out about HOA.
It won’t end well because it isn’t supposed to.
Slow Learner · August 26, 2023 at 7:01 pm
I was on our HOA in Texas and constantly had to fight other board members wanting to modify restrictions without putting it to a vote. After I resigned (because I was sick of all the BS) the board made changes to the restrictions without even putting it to a vote. In hindsight, I consider my resignation cowardly. This is exactly to tactic that leftists use to get their way.
Divemedic · August 26, 2023 at 7:24 pm
That’s why I love Florida law. They have to have a 2/3 vote of all property owners, or it isn’t legal. Then when you sue them, the other property owners all get to pay you money.
Comments are closed.