The National Hockey League is adding a team during the off season this year. The team is the Seattle Kraken. I love the team name, because the jokes write themselves:
- Fans could be the Krakheads
- Cheerleaders could be the Krakwhores
- Before every game, as the team takes the ice: “Release the Kraken”
- The could even call the arena where the team plays “The Krakhouse”
Nevermind. Being Seattle, they have to fuck it all up, and call the arena “The Climate Pledge Arena” with the following pledge:
Our goal is to be the most progressive, responsible, and sustainable arena in the world.
It might sound ambitious—
but that’s the point.