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Crime

Need a Lawyer to Get Laid

A proposed bill in Florida will change the law concerning rape. Now in Florida, a man and a woman can have couple of drinks followed by a sexual romp, and if one of them later decides that sex was a bad idea, have the other charged with rape.

Why? Because the old law required that the victim had been drugged without their consent. Now the law will be changed so if one or both of them are intoxicated of their own free will, they are considered mentally incapacitated, and the other is guilty of rape.

The only way to get laid is to have any potential paramour sign a legal release with at least two witnesses certifying that the signatories do not appear to be impaired by any intoxicating substances.

5 replies on “Need a Lawyer to Get Laid”

That was the law for a long time in my state, now it’s been changed to require affirmative consent. The whole thing appears to be an attempt to criminalize masculinity.

Print the form on the cocktail napkin. Have the ladies wear the signed form clipped to their blouse collar like a ticket-to-service dispenser:

Hello my name is
Jane
[legalese in fine print]
/signature/

A lady in the bar with a drink in her hand and no form is obviously there to watch the game. If you care to, talk to her about football. Most mens’ eyes will skate right past women without forms. It seems pretty masculine to demonstrate with your behavior ‘I’m not wasting my time on your games’.

Heh. You married guys (especially those off the market for a while) need to look around at the field in the current era. From the perspective of a straight, unencumbered male, the quality of available women (based upon looks, fitness and especially personality/attitude) has gotten so bad out here that it’s almost not worth the trouble – and it’s gotten to be a lot of trouble – just to get a lay.

Behold: militant, bitter feminists, cluster B personality disorders or otherwise dangerously crazy, sea cows, SJW’s both obvious and camouflaged, Karens, boxed wine cat ladies (I may half joke with that, but there are tons of functional and not so functional alcoholics running around), and now with quasi legal weed, chicks who are straight up pot fiends. Sonofabitch, its enough to make my junk recoil in horror. I can’t get a chubby for this shit, so problem solved, I guess.

I can attract and interact with a woman easily enough, but when I scratch the surface and discover a crazy, bitter or delusional creature under the facade, I quickly lose interest and do the automatic DQ. These sacks of woe and discontent never get within the same zipcode of gracing my bed (or me theirs) simply to protect myself from any number of bad outcomes. I’m told my standards are too high. Ok, so I need to slum it? Nah, not worth the effort. Or I “dont understand women”. Well, at this point in my life I don’t waste time trying to understand fucked up. They can get a therapist, and I’m not one.

Yes, it is possible for a man’s standards and disgust at not being able to have them met, to overcome his need for nookie. And no, I won’t go the paid pro route either. It’s a sorry situation, but my observations tell me I’m far from alone in this, and the number of us who are checking out of the bullshit is large and growing. Where have all the good men gone? After years/decades of abuse at the hand of a terminally dysfunctional society, we’ve decided to withdraw into things we can enjoy without heaps of drama, wasted time, money and effort, and legitimately placing our health and freedom in peril.

Yes, there is an open war on masculinity. Look at all the pathetic male specimens prancing around. And you thought I only bashed the ladies? So many men have been reduced to sniveling little faggots – figuratively and literally – and while some of that is a choice made by those who have wilfully embraced it, there is a larger underlying societal illness pushing them in that direction. I can almost understand ladies being pissed at all the useless garbage on the male side. There are a lot of punchable faces everywhere I go.

But fundamentally, this is all just the typical and hopeless deterioration in quality of life that occurs in a decadent, morally bankrupt society in its death throes. We did a lot of damage to get here, and now the accumulated collective injuries are irrecoverable inside the present system. Those of us who see it apparently have no choice but to ride off the cliff with it.

Despite trying to counteract it, we’ve been unsuccessful, and the hour is late. So now we pull back and try to conserve whatever remaining dignity we can. Yeah, it sucks. But not as bad as a rape charge.

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