I received some tragic news this morning by email. It appears that the bastards at my HR department began firing people here at AreaOcho this morning.

Dear divemedic,

Good Day,

Find below names of staff whose employment has been terminated with immediate effect.
Please find attached
<file attached that I will not link to or click on>

Kindly note that henceforth they should not be copied in all email correspondences.

Find where your name falls and comply accordingly.

Thanks and regards,
areaocho.com Human Resources
HR/payroll Manager

This comes as quite a shock to all of us here at AreaOcho. The employees that were let go will be sorely missed, but I want my readers to know that it will no affect posting or operations here at AreaOcho headquarters.

Categories: Blog News


Elrod · May 8, 2024 at 8:07 am

My condolences on the loss of valuable co-workers, something like that can be devastating. I’m sure it will be difficult, but I have full confidence you will persevere and endeavor to maintain the usual high AreaOcho standards despite the pain of so many being downsized.

    Divemedic · May 8, 2024 at 10:23 am

    It’s my understanding that the tasks performed by those let go will be outsourced to either India or Mexico.

    Jen · May 8, 2024 at 10:39 am

    Was this legit? Why the redacted link? Are you affected?

WDS · May 8, 2024 at 8:40 am

Is the severance package being funded by a Nigerian Prince by any chance?

Borepatch · May 8, 2024 at 11:01 am

But don’t you want to see how many hot Ukrainian girls got laid off (err, poor word choice) from AreaOcho?


arbeit macht fweedom fwies · May 8, 2024 at 12:04 pm

HR departments are a construct of the white male patriarchy.

Don W Curton · May 8, 2024 at 12:11 pm

Dang, and I found out that I won a 150 piece Snap-On tool set, all I had to do was click a link, register, and provide a credit card number to prove I was a real person.

Mike Hendrix · May 8, 2024 at 3:36 pm

Best. Phishing scam. EVARRR!!!

Aesop · May 8, 2024 at 4:09 pm

Was the e-mail signed by Kommanda Korona, or Solomon Ondonkoh…?

Chiefjaybob · May 8, 2024 at 6:49 pm

It’s about damn time. I have written so many strongly-worded emails to management in the last six months, I was beginning to wonder if anyone was listening.

Hopefully this decisive action will wake up the remaining slugs. Pour encourager les autres.

    Divemedic · May 9, 2024 at 1:10 am

    That was you?

Fred · May 8, 2024 at 10:16 pm

Any cause listed or suspected? Its quite common for valuable assets to be sacrificed for perceived benefit. For example, Google is ditching its swank San Francisco digs downtown… I guess the long term results of leftist government aren’t as appealing as public safety and hygeine… I remember when IBM ditched Kingston NY. They lost a lot of brainpower and valuable real estate but shed an enormous tax and payroll burden.
My experience’ I told the boss’s punk kid that his car was a POS. I was gone at the end of the week.

IcyReaper · May 9, 2024 at 12:33 pm

DA, I’m so sorry DM its my fault. Karen, your Diversity asst manager said she was now a man and had to be treated as such and to address him as Ken. So unlike a non binary Ken doll, I just had to make sure he knew what parts make a man a man to avoid any confusion. So I showed her/him/it, the poor thing he/him had never seen anything that big and passed out.

IcyReaper · May 9, 2024 at 3:48 pm

In case you forgot who Karen is I attached a pic, I couldnt bring myself to send the new as a guy pic.


TRX · May 10, 2024 at 9:20 am

Does this mean I have to return my key to the executive washroom?

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