The ACLU claims that college students in California have a legal and constitutional right to be called the names and pronouns of their chosen gender identity. They claim that this right exists even if you have not legally changed your name. It isn’t just the ACLU in California- the organization’s national policy mirrors it. Interesting that they invent this “right” out of thin air while simultaneously ignoring the Second Amendment and SCOTUS on that issue.
In June 2020, the Supreme Court of the United States in Bostock v. Clayton County concluded that discrimination on the basis of sex encompasses both discrimination based on sexual orientation and discrimination based on gender identity.
In 2016, one college student made a game out of it and declared to his school that his pronoun was “His Majesty” and used official school policy to force staff members to use it. The left went apoplectic, claiming that he fundamentally doesn’t understand gender identity—or pronouns. I think that it is the left that doesn’t get it.
Total Frat Move wrote that gender-neutral pronouns just make “everyday a fun game of ‘let’s solve the puzzle in my pants,’” and that “when you inconvenience the entire world because you learned a hip new word you insist on being called, then you’re just an asshole.”
I agree, but in the spirit of this, we must acknowledge that the law requires that I be called whatever name or pronoun corresponds to my gender identity. If I ever find myself in an environment that insists I follow such a silly and arbitrary rule, I will find in necessary to prove just how silly and arbitrary it is. So let’s refer to the US Department of Labor to see how we can do this. Here are the definitions that they are using:
Names and Pronouns. Refer to each person by the name and the pronoun(s) by which the person wants to be referred. If you don’t know, ask in a tactful and respectful way. For example, you can say, “what pronouns do you use?” or you can introduce yourself with the pronouns you use, which may prompt someone to share the pronouns they use. Continued intentional misuse of a person’s name and pronouns – also known as misgendering – may breach the person’s privacy, may put them at risk of harm, and in some circumstances, may be considered harassment.
Gender identity: A person’s internal sense of being male, female, or something else such as agender, binary, gender fluid, gender nonconforming, genderqueer, or nonbinary. Since gender identity is internal, one’s gender identity is not necessarily visible to others. All people have a gender identity.
So let’s choose something to illustrate the absurdity of this, and then use the law to bludgeon them over the head with it. I choose to identify as Schrodegender. That is, I simultaneously exist in a quantum state of all genders, and only resolve into one specific gender once the observer makes an attempt to measure my specific gender. Each person will be required to look in my pants to observe whatever genitalia I am expressing at that moment before using that pronoun.
Or you can just call me “Assmaster,” either will be acceptable. To refuse to do so is to violate my constitutional rights.
Tar · November 22, 2022 at 10:01 am
When these entitled twits start nattering about their “preferred pronouns”, I tell ’em my preferred pronouns are “M’lord” and “Master”. 😉
If these lowly peasants will not submit to their betters and acknowledge our superiority, they should be thrashed like the curs they are… after all, it’s our Constitutional Right! 😀
Matthew · November 22, 2022 at 10:10 am
Anything that requires the conscious effort of another to provide cannot be a right. There is no right to healthcare, shelter, safety, income, etc. If involves a tangible object of any kind whatsoever or the time or effort of anyone, nobody has a right to it.
Bryce · November 22, 2022 at 10:18 am
Pronouns: Dude!, The Dude!, and Hey Asshole! (All must be spoken with enthusiasm, hence the exclamation points)
Kinda like His Majesty…May have to add that one
Echo Hotel · November 22, 2022 at 2:33 pm
Brevity is not my thing. May I call you El Duderino?
joe · November 22, 2022 at 11:15 am
I don’t believe in gender identity and attempting to force me to believe in it is racist and violated my rights…so go fuck yourself… that would be my response
Chipmunk · November 22, 2022 at 4:07 pm
My approach is to never speak to or about them. Fortunately there are not many in my area that subscribe to these ridiculous demands.
nones · November 22, 2022 at 4:23 pm
Your pronoun should be “Your Majesty”. If someone is speaking about you then they should use “His Majesty”.
It's just Boris · November 22, 2022 at 6:13 pm
Eh, I’m willing to compromise.
“Their Scintillating Gloriousness” would also be acceptable when being referred to in the third person. (See? A non gender specific pronoun! Right there. Compromise!)
BobF · November 22, 2022 at 4:33 pm
Would “Most Exalted Surveyor of the Domain” be too pretentious?
Groove · November 22, 2022 at 4:41 pm
When the company that pays me to send emails and tell people what to do said we should add our pronouns to our email sig, I started calling myself Supreme Grand Poobah. No one says a word or will even call me that knowing it’s stupid.
PaulB · November 22, 2022 at 5:02 pm
Guys, I think Assmaster’s really onto something here.
Does everyone else notice that it’s always fat and ugly white women who do this shit? It’s never the pretty latina who works at a salon. It’s Breanna the pimply WASP from CT who weighs 300lbs, smells like a damp basement and works for a non-profit providing health care for Jewish black lesbians living with gluten intolerance.
Big Ruckus D · November 22, 2022 at 5:14 pm
I think I’m going to go with a gender identity of “Shitlord” and a preferred pronoun of “Faggot slayer”.
Something tells me these hairdressers and other assorted freaks aren’t going to respect my proclaimed gender, or my preferred pronoun. And that means I don’t have to respect theirs either.
AC47spooky · November 22, 2022 at 6:30 pm
“His Majesty” – that and $3.75 will get you a cup of coffee. You want me to call you something? Alright how about “get out of my sight maggot!”
I have a lot of potential titles for anyone out there that decides to be a total asshole: “snapper head” “dipshit” “butt munch” — just a few of my favorites 🙂
Bad Dancer · November 22, 2022 at 7:38 pm
Schrodegender is a thing of brilliance and I’m still chuckling.
Vlad the non-impaler · November 22, 2022 at 10:00 pm
Just like not talking to the imaginary people in crazy peoples minds, I refuse to call a guy wearing a dress anything but a guy wearing a dress.
I *might* hold off on calling them a faggot at first but they shouldn’t push it. My bullshit tolerance is pretty low.
The Violator · November 23, 2022 at 2:42 pm
Mine are rat bastard mofo.
Surly belligerent rabble or death camp.
Aesop · November 23, 2022 at 3:53 pm
Um, no. In fact, HELL No.
This is Constitutional Law 101 stuff, as you know:
Congress shall make no law…abridging the freedom of speech…
That means if my preferred pronoun for someone is “Entitled @$$hole”, they can suck it, as far as Congress and all federal law is concerned.
They’re only recourse will end with a critical application of the state’s penal code, and whoever throws the first punch always loses.
Just to cement it in concrete,
Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.
And to make sure even the States can’t weasel out of that
No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.
Which thus specifies that if someone would like a pronoun other than Entitled @$$hole, they should stop being one.
That means no one else can make such a law or rule either, with any sort of legal force.
You have no “right” to pronouns, and no power on earth recognized by any US jurisdiction has the power to compel any speech, from any person.
When last I looked, we’ve fought several wars over that.
Divemedic · November 23, 2022 at 5:15 pm
In a perfect world, you are right. However, I would direct you to “hate crime” laws that enhance the penalty if you commit even a minor crime, but call someone “nigger” while you do it. In practice, the courts are using that as justification for allowing someone to whip your ass and legally get away with it. Call someone a nigger, and when he hits you, the court will rule that you started it, and that further you hitting him back was a hate crime.
So they have just added “misgendering” to the list of hate crimes. It’s coming. There is no doubt.
“Deadnaming” someone as they call it is violence, according to them.
Aesop · November 24, 2022 at 3:06 am
And they’re going to find that out at the muzzle of a gun, sooner or later.
Skyler the Weird · November 23, 2022 at 4:04 pm
I had to get a temporary badge to work at my wife’s booth at the Renaissance Festival. They asked for my pronouns on the form and said Master/Commander. Was told Jack Aubrey is not in our Time Period. He’s Hanover not Tudor.
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