Are you wanting to play a prank or get revenge on someone? Sign them up for a quote on a new roof, a solar system, or do what we did when I was younger: sign them up for every gay mailing list you can find. Nothing is more irritating than tons of sales calls for butt plugs and home improvement companies.

Categories: Humor


Bigus Macus · October 29, 2023 at 5:59 am

I’ve been getting calls for solar for the last year from about four different companies.

TRX · October 29, 2023 at 9:49 am

The “roof” one might be local. A few months ago we had a new roof put on the house. We called every one in the phone book or who had an online listing for our area. Maybe eleven or twelve. Just voicemail boxes, with only two who could be arsed to call back. One called later that day, the other more than a week later.

I guess they figure business is so good, there’s no need to even acnkowlege customers exist until it’s convenient for them.

Wild, wild west · October 29, 2023 at 10:05 am

Just another example of how technology is making our lives easier. In the old days, lots of magazines had reader reply cards that you could check the little boxes of things you wanted more information about and mail them in. So what you could do was fill out a few of these in the offender’s name and address, etc., check all the boxes and mail them off. The offender would nearly have to take a wheelbarrow to the mailbox to tote all the junk mail. And there would be no stopping the avalanche, either.

Jonathan · October 29, 2023 at 10:06 am

To make it worse, look up companies with a reputation for not taking customers off their lists.
While I’m sure others do it too, I’ve seen it worse with car dealers, getting calls and emails months and years after buying elsewhere and asking to be removed from their lists.
Another way is to make it something that will cause them problems at work or at home – for example, if they have a rough marriage, put them on a list for how to have a discreet affair, or have a divorce lawyer call them at a number their spouse answers…
I haven’t done any of these, but I know people who have.

Craig · October 29, 2023 at 10:36 am

To get even with a co-worker I put a personal add in all the west Sonoma County papers, lots of guys. The ad read” Single gay male looking for intimate moments call me, Jon it had his phone number. Great gag, he got call for months. Best 10bucks I ever spent.

D · October 29, 2023 at 10:43 am

LOL–that reminds me of this one time we were dispatched to a rollover accident a few miles from our station. When we arrive, there’s a huge mess of debris all over the road…and because it was ~30 minutes before the end of the shift, I was a zombie. I didn’t really pay attention to it. Just fixated on getting to the driver and evaluating him…because it was my turn and my partner was more of a zombie than I was.

After talking with the patient for 10 minutes and getting a refusal signed, I hear the tow truck pull up. I wish the driver the best of luck and mumble something about being glad (because it could have been a lot worse) and start stepping over debris to head back to the rig. I notice my partner already in the jumpseat…beat red and laughing.

I follow his gaze over to the tow truck driver. He’s a kid I went to school with. He was a freshman when I was a senior. Like every tow truck driver, he had a short three-letter name (like Bob, Ron, Tim, Sam, Tom, etc…) and due to his stature–pushing 400 pounds, his name was always prefixed with the word “big”.

He’s facing away from me, standing motionless. As I approach this 17-year-old kid and add a little speed so as not to get pulled into orbit around him, I start to say “Hey Big Bob…” and I trail off as I see him bend over and pick something up off the ground. He stands back up, looking dumbfounded…holding…something…. After a few seconds, he must have realized what he was holding and immediately dropped it…and turns beat red.

I have a moment of clarity and “expand my vision”, chiding myself for being oblivious to the scene around me. I look down at my feet, and then slowly all around me.

We were standing in a sea of thousands of large dildos stretching hundreds of feet down the road…

Unfortunately Big Bob and the road crew had to clear them all off the road after we left.

Vlad · October 29, 2023 at 1:18 pm

We used to fill out all those military recruiting postcards that were in magazines years ago.
If you ever have access to your buddies phone, download the Grindr app. 🤣

Illinois Hound · October 29, 2023 at 2:46 pm

Here I thought I was the only one to tear out the postage paid inquiries for more information from magazines in the school library having it addressed to my brother. My parents were not pleased when all this junk mail started showing up. That was over 50 years ago. Thanks for the chuckle of bringing back that memory.

Wyowanderer · October 30, 2023 at 8:17 am

Years ago I signed the head of HR (a full figured, but awful woman) for a couple big & tall catalogs, and Fredrick’s as well.

waitingForTheStorm · November 9, 2023 at 6:20 am

This happened to me years ago, but with a twist. There was a scam going on where people would get paid to generate “sales leads”. You get a name and associated phone number (scammed from some dark web site) and an email and then register on hundreds of site saying you want to buy something, go to some fly by night school, or any of a number of legit or semi-legit businesses. You get paid for the lead and the lead get bombarded with calls for months.

I called the email provider. They said that the email had been legit for a while but was no longer valid but that their service did not return emails to invalid addresses. I finally got a caller to give me the IP address that registered the lead. It was to a service provider in CA, but I could not follow the NAT to get to the actual miscreant. I called the local cops and they said this was all well and good, but I was not domiciled in their jurisdiction so there was not a crime they could investigate. I would have to report to my local cops and have them chase it, after they got an official request they would chase it.

Well, my local cops were not interested. With the press of normal cop stuff, this did not rise to the level of anything that would be worthy of investigation. So, I filed a report. I got dozens of calls a day for a month or so, a few calls a day for the next month, and then they petered out in the third month.

I know, some would say that I should have just ignored calls from unknown numbers. But, my son was in Afghanistan doing real Army infantry shit and sometimes he called me for stuff that he needed me to do. The number on my phone was never the same and nothing indicated that it was a call from a deployed soldier. So, I dutifully answered each and every call that I got while he was deployed.

Sorry if this is TL;DR but I just had to get this off my chest.

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