I served in the military during the cold war. Back in those days, US forces were required to have at least one exercise per month in NBC (Nuclear/Biological/Chemical) warfare. We referred to these drills as “sucking rubber.”

In true military style, we could never just have an exercise. Nope, our command had to come up with bizarre scenarios that led to the drill that day. At the beginning of the exercise, the background information would be read to us, as if it were the prologue to some dystopian novel. The problem was that the back story was always far fetched and horribly written. The entire last two years sounds like that:

Red forces have invaded the nation of Goodistan. Air, missile, and ground attacks have been occuring. At sea, several merchant ships have been struck by missiles. In protest, NATO forces have begun to mobilize. The president of the Red Forces nation has increased the alert level of his nuclear forces. In response, US command authority has alerted all commands to be prepared for unrestricted warfare against Red forces.

The commander of Blue forces has warned of intelligence reports that a nearby submarine is armed with nuclear missiles that threaten this force. Now set MOPP level two.

Shit. Today’s drill is sucking rubber.

That is what this sounds like.

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3 Comments

Magic Soil Sprouts Wakanda · February 27, 2022 at 4:05 pm

Back when we were serious about military or before the Long March reached the terminal peak stupidity state.
Internal traitors have made sure that the US will be the designated loser in WWIII.

Glypto Dropem · February 27, 2022 at 7:32 pm

Charcoal MOPP suits and rubber boots all day long. Then several times a day the call of “GAS! GAS! GAS!” would go out and on would go the masks with hoods and gloves. Rule was only the person that called the alert could give the “All Clear!” and the length of time in full gear was at the whim of whomever called the alert.

Russell G. · February 28, 2022 at 8:26 am

Having lived through the Cuban missile crisis as a pre-teen, and having dad build a bomb shelter in the back yard and stocked it with canned whole chickens, I can confirm that people still don’t understand the concept of being vaporized in a microsecond or two. If you’re left breathing, you can NBC all you want and it won’t work for persistent hard alpha and gamma emitters blazing those trails through your cells. Distance, in all respects, is your friend.

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