A Gay bar in Orlando called “Hamburger Mary’s” is suing the state of Florida because the law that prohibits adult performances in front of children is putting them out of business, which according to them is a violation of their First Amendment rights to helicopter their dicks in front of children. Hamburger Mary’s owners said once they told customers that children would no longer be permitted at any of its drag shows, bookings in fell 20%.

Reading the comments, the people there demanded to know what constitutes an adult performance. So here it is. The law defines adult content as follows:

Adult live performance” means any show, exhibition, or other presentation in front of a live audience which, in whole or in part, depicts or simulates nudity, sexual conduct, sexual excitement, or specific sexual activities as those terms are defined in s. 847.001, lewd conduct, or the lewd exposure of prosthetic or imitation genitals or breasts

It refers to 847.001, which defines:

Sexual conduct” means actual or simulated sexual intercourse, deviate sexual intercourse, sexual bestiality, masturbation, or sadomasochistic abuse; actual or simulated lewd exhibition of the genitals; actual physical contact with a person’s clothed or unclothed genitals, pubic area, buttocks, or, if such person is a female, breast with the intent to arouse or gratify the sexual desire of either party; or any act or conduct which constitutes sexual battery or simulates that sexual battery is being or will be committed. A mother’s breastfeeding of her baby does not under any circumstance constitute “sexual conduct.”

Sexual excitement” means the condition of the human male or female genitals when in a state of sexual stimulation or arousal.

 “Specific sexual activities” includes the following sexual activities and the exhibition of the following anatomical areas:

(a) Human genitals in the state of sexual stimulation or arousal.

(b) Acts of human masturbation, sexual intercourse, sodomy, cunnilingus, fellatio, or any excretory function, or representation thereof.

(c) The fondling or erotic touching of human genitals, the pubic region, the buttocks, or the female breasts.

(d) Less than completely and opaquely covered:

1. Human genitals or the pubic region.

2. Buttocks.

3. Female breasts below the top of the areola.

4. Human male genitals in a discernibly turgid state, even if completely and opaquely covered.

Tell me which of the above described activities are OK for exhibition to children. I posted the above legal definitions to the comments of the clickOrlando website, and they were immediately removed for violating community standards. Now if the legal description of what is prohibited by the law is such a violation of community standards that the LAW can’t even be viewed by the public, then how in the world is it OK for children to view the acts described and proscribed by that law?

If your business model depends on performing acts like this in front of children, your business model is trash, and you know what? It has nothing to do with the fact that they are gay or trans. I would have an issue with children being in a straight club that was performing these acts as well.

Sexual performances are not protected by the First Amendment if they are obscene. Whether or not they are obscene is determined through a three pronged test known as the Miller test. That standard can be found here. Those standards are stricter when involving children. I think Hamburger Mary’s and those trannies are on the losing end of this one.


Miles · May 22, 2023 at 8:20 pm

“Hamburger Mary’s owners said once they told customers that children would no longer be permitted at any of its drag shows, bookings in fell 20%.”
The question should be: “What kind of parents are taking their children to these performances?
The answer, or course is: G-r-o-o-m-e-r-s.
Yes parents grooming their own children.
You can’t make this up………..

Big Ruckus D · May 22, 2023 at 9:31 pm

I think there should be a little truth in advertising applied to this joint. Run the pedo faggot groomers through a woodchipper. Voila, there’s the hamburger. A 20% drop in bookings means that at least 20% of the degenerates who go there are into (or ok with) the idea of grooming children into sexual perversion. Fuck these people with a rusty chainsaw. Sideways.

Vitaeus · May 22, 2023 at 10:30 pm

What a farce. Quoting the law is against community standards

oldvet50 · May 23, 2023 at 5:59 am

The fact that we are even having to discuss things like this prove our society has reached or exceeded the depravity displayed in Sodom and Gomorrah.

D · May 23, 2023 at 8:21 am

Ok…wait a sec….laws are usually pedantically specific about things because they’re written by lawyers.

What’s with “sexual bestiality”? I mean…I know what “bestiality” means…but that implies there’s a “non-sexual bestiality”. There’s no way in hell I’m pulling up Google to verify my understanding of the definition…but I thought “bestiality” was literally “sex with animals”.

Regardless, these people need to be fed into a woodchipper–feet first.

    Divemedic · May 23, 2023 at 8:22 am

    That is also defined in the statute:

    “Sexual bestiality” means any sexual act, actual or simulated, between a person and an animal involving the sex organ of the one and the mouth, anus, or female genitals of the other.

      D · May 23, 2023 at 8:28 am


      But it seems like they could have left the word “sexual” out of there, because that’s my understanding of the definition of “bestiality”. No modifier needed.

      Aesop · May 23, 2023 at 11:18 am

      Idle curiosity:
      Who’s responsible for the obvious loophole in that definition that makes giving and/or getting h***jobs from simians legal there?
      (Don’t blame me for noticing the obvious; *I* didn’t write that statute. 10:1 some lawyer in the state legislature just unwittingly outted himself.)

      Chimpanzee and orangutang massage parlors are going to become a growth industry thereabouts once realization dawns.
      Follow the money.

        Divemedic · May 23, 2023 at 12:20 pm

        Dude. That describes what it’s like to read your blog: a handjob from a simian…

        Just kidding. It was too easy to ignore.

Aesop · May 23, 2023 at 11:09 am

Not that I’m against driving the pedo-enablers out of business, but just spitballing, I’m pretty certain that makes any fifty top pop and hip-hop stars’ stage acts “adult performances” per that definition, going back decades.

So, when can we expect the round-ups and warrant issuance going back to Michael Jackson and Madonna to start in FL?

Asking for every concert promoter in the state of Florida.

    Divemedic · May 23, 2023 at 12:16 pm

    Naw. If you read the entire statute, the penalties only kick in when:

    when it:
    1. Predominantly appeals to a prurient, shameful, or morbid interest;
    2. Is patently offensive to prevailing standards in the adult community of this state as a whole with respect to what is suitable material or conduct for the age of the child present; and
    3. Taken as a whole, is without serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value for the age of the child present.

    That three pronged test is known as the Miller test.

      Aesop · May 24, 2023 at 1:04 pm

      That three-pronged test precisely defines the pop shows I mentioned as NC-17 “Adults Only” performances.

      Not saying no one should see them. Just no one under 18, period. Re-class them all as the equivalent of topless bars and porn stores, and call it even.

Big Ruckus D · May 23, 2023 at 11:54 am

Yeah. The letter people have a future problem here. Their ever expanding and unwieldy fagcronym already has a B in it, so what happens when they inevitably want to add bestiality under their umbrella of perversion? Because you know that’s coming up right after they officially add kiddy diddling to it.

We are badly in need of a great cleansing fire.

joe · May 23, 2023 at 8:45 pm

i would think for them any end is a win win…just saying…

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