My post from the other day surprisingly hit a nerve with some people. Even among the readers of this blog, there appear to be many people who are their own worst financial enemy. They still would rather believe that the deck is stacked against them and scapegoat someone else for their own lack of making it.
The gist of all of this is some sort of excuse about how it is someone else’s fault that they aren’t successful. That person could be faceless judges, the rich who have pulled up the ladder behind them, boomers, your ex-wife, whoever.
It’s all bullshit. There is no evidence that it’s any harder now than it was 50 years ago. For starters, home ownership isn’t as difficult as it seems. In the US, less that half of all US citizens owned their own homes before WW2. After that war, there was a homebuilding boom that saw homeownership rates increase to 55% in 1950, 62% in 1960, then 63% in 1970, when Baby Boomers began buying homes. The 80’s and 90’s had homeownership rates around 64%, and increasing to 66% by the turn of the millennium.
Homeownership rates peaked in 2004 with a 69% rate. It fell with the collapse of the mortgage lenders, bottoming out at 63% in 2016. Even now, homeownership rates are hovering around 65%, which is still higher than it was through most US history.
The only person holding you back is- you. Well, you and the choices that you make. Yes, I am telling you that if I made it, you can, too. Remember that I was bankrupt in 2009. When I left that bankruptcy, I had less than $3,000 in assets, and that included a car I was still making payments on. I lost my house in that bankruptcy and had to move back into an apartment. That was when I took a very real look at what I was doing. I made changes.
I am telling you to take a real look at where your money is going. Don’t buy useless shit. Buy and payoff a house. Save, invest. Get your spouse on board with your effort- it won’t work unless you are both doing it together. You won’t be able to make it if one of you is saving while the other is spending.
This is intended to be motivational. You can do this, but it won’t be easy. It will take spending discipline. It will take some effort. Not everyone is going to be wealthy- but anyone CAN be wealthy.
You can do it. Or you can keep blaming a scapegoat for the fact that you aren’t.
29 Comments
Dirk · August 28, 2025 at 7:20 am
This is true. I have owned, when possible, or rented for the last 35 years. I’ve probably rented more than I have owned, but that is because I tended to move around more for my job. My wife and I are currently working on paying off debt due to unexpected house repairs. Looking forward to retirement and being mostly out of debt when we do. The question everyone needs to ask themselves is ‘Do I really need this thing?’ or ‘Do I have to eat out every week?’. The answer usually is no for these types of questions.
@HomeInSC · August 28, 2025 at 7:35 am
Are you “channeling” Dave Ramsey?😀
I think it starts with an honest look at things.
Old Maine Farmer · August 28, 2025 at 7:47 am
Articles like this are why I love this blog. You give me data to support your suppositions. Thank you.
DrBob · August 28, 2025 at 8:06 am
Spot on!
Entitlement and a loss of patience also drives this trend of “Woe is me-ism”. I’ve seen too many kids with the mentality of only needing to have some credential, and show up to get a payday. I taught a high school class for the local FD a couple years ago (Life Skills). Of 12 seniors, only 2 had anything like a plan. The rest were going to college to get a degree and walk right into a high-paying job. Those kids are the targets for colleges who create garbage-can degrees. I went to college from 75-79 (at a big name school) and several of the guys in my dorm were in newly created degree programs. One was “American Studies” where they watched American movies and read American authors. For four years. Simultaneously, the degree in “African-American Studies” was created. Both were content-free avenues of “study” that appealed to students and parents who believed that the college degree was a stepping stone to success. Today, those kids are parents who believe that little Johnny Jump Up only needs a credential.
I made my Life Skills class kids estimate their monthly college loan payments as part of a budgeting exercise. It awakened none of them. Even when I pointed out to them at the end of the class that the one kid who was skipping college and going into the trades, would be a millionaire while the rest of them were still paying off their loans.
Honk Honk · August 28, 2025 at 8:08 am
Hard work and Spartan living are constructs of the white male patriarchy.
AI will bring the Wakanda workers utopia with High Speed Rail and UBI for all.
Yes we can, forward, comrade!
J J · August 28, 2025 at 9:08 am
America is full of people who believe that working hard and making sacrifices is beneath them, they’d rather make excuses and have their hands out for someone else’s money.
Swede · August 28, 2025 at 9:11 am
64 year old “boomer” here. I just shake my head at the hate for my generation. I’ve never had a pension, worked hard in STEM fields, and am happily retired. I always thought the boomer generation should be split in two. People who were born in the 40’s are very different than those of us born in the 60’s. But that’s ok, hate away… I don’t care what people think about me.
To help my kids save up for houses, I let them stay at home after college, but they pay rent. Discounted, to be sure, but it’s important for them to understand obligations. I will say one thing, the ratio of housing costs to salaries seems much more than when I was starting out. But I think we are headed for another housing bubble burst, and that will probably change a lot of things.
Steve · August 31, 2025 at 6:33 am
I will say one thing, the ratio of housing costs to salaries seems much more than when I was starting out.
I’m not sure that’s true. The guidelines are still rent can be up to 40% of takehome, ownership, roughly 28%. Now, granted, you can’t get the sub 10% boarding houses you could in my day (to the best of my knowledge) but you get what you pay for — that one had a shower that was a garden sprinkler mounted to the wall, and you stood on a wood pallet, and the water was cool at best. Thing is, no one wants that after having spent his formative years at dad’s place with all the creature comforts.
Fishlaw · August 28, 2025 at 10:50 am
It amazes me that people would find fault with your post on this. When I hear certain ethnic groups complaining about being held down, I think of: free food, free housing, free health care, free education, even free phones.
There is a song which grates on me every time I hear it: Electric Avenue. It bemoans being “poor.” The lyrics complain, “I can’t get food for the kid…I can’t afford a thing on tv.” Well, maybe sell the tv to get food for the kid?
When I drive around town, almost every business has a sign saying they are hiring. People complain the entry-level jobs pay “Chump change.” Go read about the depression when people literally sold pencils on street corners to try to survive.
If one’s priorities are messed up of course life is tough. As John Wayne said “Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid.”
WallPhone · August 28, 2025 at 11:37 am
Dante Nero once mentioned the reason people blame others for lack of personal success is it helps them rationalize being lazy.
It’s easy to blame a nameless shadowy exploitative figure or “the system”. It’s hard to blame yourself for the opportunities you left for someone else.
Tsgt Joe · August 28, 2025 at 12:06 pm
I totally agree. I’m not a very good money manager, but I’ve done ok. I’ve seen folks with the same income do very well and others with the same income on the ropes, losing their houses. I’ve never lived in a house that was much bigger than 1000 square feet. Raised 3 kids there. Other than house and car notes we didn’t carry a lot of debt especially after we figured out credit cards could lull you into serious debt. My undergraduate college was largely covered by the Air Force tuition assistance program, masters by GI bill. We paid my wife’s tuition assistance we went. Our first new car was largely paid for by my reenlistment bonus in 1972, our next new car was a ford escort in 1992. I’ve mentioned elsewhere that I’ve worked for several places that offered tuition assistance, you dont have to put yourself into 100-200 thousand debt.
Texas Dan · August 28, 2025 at 12:31 pm
I live in rural Texas and try to keep to myself but when I go town I am amazed at the lines at the drive-through for Starbucks and the fast food joints. I wonder how many people literally throw away $20 bucks a day on such? Then I watch people buy processed meals at the grocery or worse Dollar General and think there’s another $100 bucks a week tossed because people don’t cook anymore. You’d be amazed with what you can do with an extra $5k to $10k a year by just not participating in the culture of convenience, that is, the culture of waste.
Reader · August 28, 2025 at 1:15 pm
Great post DiveMedic.
It can be as simple as copying some of the behaviors and attitudes of others, like DiveMedic has done. That first step to doing so is ignoring the negative voices (including your own) or doing the better thing and cutoff those around you that are negative (outside wife & kids). You don’t owe anyone really outside your own household.
Danny · August 28, 2025 at 5:04 pm
Good post. It’s not easy to face truth. Much easier to deny truth.
Bluey · August 28, 2025 at 6:10 pm
And have realistic expectations.
Henry · August 28, 2025 at 7:26 pm
You are spot-on. It seems like a part of human nature, at least in a majority of us, is to avoid accepting responsibility for our own actions and especially mistakes. I imagine just about every generation assumes the previous ones had it easier than they do. (Boomers might be the exception to that rule – we know our parents had a tough time in the Depression and WWII). Getting ahead in life means smart choices and especially delayed gratification (something that’s particularly important to impart to your children). Short term sacrifices can pay long term dividends. I applaud your efforts to persuade readers to never give up, to pay attention to the little things, and to put in the effort to succeed.
Steve · August 31, 2025 at 6:44 am
(Boomers might be the exception to that rule – we know our parents had a tough time in the Depression and WWII).
Maybe. Or maybe it’s just that boomers are the only quasi-objective people out there anymore. The older X remember the phones on the wall, and the long coiled cord you stretched into the hall closet to talk to your girlfriend, but this is all completely unknown to younger generations, who have never known anything but wireless. We did points and condenser every 2,500, and understood that the car wasn’t going to last more than about 50k miles, (I remember being so excited that by doing an engine rebuild, I got 1 light second out of my Duster) so started saving for the next one.
It’s just a different world. I run into so few people who are good with a wrench instead of a game controller.
AL · August 28, 2025 at 9:47 pm
Preach it! I am mentoring 3 very sharp coworkers who are making their first foray into sales. They’re doing very well. 1 was a Finance Major who was entirely ignorant about *personal finances.
We’re fixing that. “The Richest Man in Babylon”, “The Automatic Millionaire”, “The Millionaire Next Door”, “You have more than you think”, The Wealthsteading Podcast (esp the first ten episodes) are the tools we’ve used, along with brief discussions of Dave Ramsey.
These guys are doing well. They work hard, work smart, and never make excuses.
2 are in their 20s & 1 early 30s.
Don’t lose hope – and don’t compromise. There are more kids like these 3.
Steady Steve · August 28, 2025 at 10:00 pm
The smart kids will get into the trades. I read some stats on how many of certain trades will be needed in the next 5 years (HVAC, plumbers, electricians). The numbers are in the hundreds of thousands of positions needed in each trade. As for the ones who do not embrace this coming paradigm, some will probably clue in when they are in their 30’s and have to work twice as hard to catch up. There is hope for the younger generations yet, or at least some of them.
Divemedic · August 29, 2025 at 8:57 am
That’s great. Not everyone is meant for college, and trades are important.
Still, a job isn’t the path to wealth by itself. It’s important to leverage that into multiple income streams, especially ones that are passive. That is, you earn money without having to put in much effort.
Just avoid the “get rich quick” schemes you hear on the radio. You won’t get rich with them. It’s all about wise investing over a period of years, or even decades.
Steady Steve · August 29, 2025 at 7:54 pm
I think the brighter and well disciplined among them will start their own businesses and grow them. I know a guy that emigrated here from England with nothing more than hand tools and excellent skill as a ships’ carpenter. After one year you had to schedule him months in advance. After 3 years he had a shop, four vans, and three guys working for him. This is just in the south Florida area. He retired at 60.
GuardDuck · August 29, 2025 at 9:57 am
Several years ago I had a discussion with a guy who was blaming – well everything else – for his lack of success. Specifically he was claiming that there were no jobs that paid well enough.
After getting some details about what he was talking about – I concluded and pointed out to him that it was really a ‘him’ problem from decisions he made and was continuing to make.
He rightly claimed that his particular location had few if any jobs available for someone with his skills, ability, training, and education.
I told him he could either change his skills, ability, training and education to make him a marketable employee in his location – or change his location to one where those items were in demand.
He thought I was being cold and unreasonable.
dc · August 29, 2025 at 4:17 pm
Hello GuardDuck, my experience in 1989 was similar to your friend; I always complained to a friend in the Guard that I was always a victim, I couldn’t get a decent job, girlfriend, self respect, etc. It was always someone else to blame, not me. Background: I was broke and homeless, couch surfing and getting really close to living in my car without an income so I went to a recruiter and I went back into the service without really telling anybody. My solution was to reinvent myself completely! I left my home state, friends and family and started fresh in Florida. I imagined myself outwardly as someone who was doing well (I repeated it in my mind over and over) and since I was NOT homeless and was eating regularly it was true. I faked it until I made it- Met an educated young lady and i tried to live up to what I intended to make of myself. After a few months of regular pay, I assumed the VA mortgage on a total POS house in a crappy neighborhood and began to imagine a better me so much that others believed it too. I thought at the time my friend was also being rough with his assessment of me but he was right. The Loser was inside my head sabotaging me at every turn.
We all need a good friend who will tell us what we need to hear.
Filthie · August 29, 2025 at 8:27 pm
Well you were spot on about everything AO. I agree with everything 100%.
BUT.
You ignore the very real impact of inflation, a glutted labour market, feral employers, stagnant wages, DEI hiring practices, etc etc etc. Sure, you overcame those 20 years ago or more. It’s a different world today. Add in that most kids are no longer raised right… and they have some real obstacles to overcome.
My grandparents were of The Greatest Generation – circa WW1. They were paupers and every spare cent they had went into their kids. They almost went broke sending them to university and trade schools. Then they spent their disposable income on their grandkids.
By contrast, today’s elderly boomers are of the attitude toward their kids of “I got mine kid. Fuck you, you go somewhere else to get yours…” They have an argument and it’s valid. Were a few swirls further down the socialist toilet up here in Canada … and we have kids that have done everything you and I have and they’ll never own a home.
Divemedic · August 30, 2025 at 6:41 am
At this point, I have no further advice for you and yours. I’m sorry that everyone is keeping you down.
Jonathan · August 30, 2025 at 12:00 pm
I’m with you DM,
I hear lots of these complaints. most of them are online – IF I can get details about hem, they invariably insist on living in a trendy (i.e. expensive) part of a big city but can only get a job at or near minimum wage.
I have pointed people to areas where housing costs are well below the national average with pay that is above average, but they uniformly refuse to consider moving.
Where I am, there are numerous entry level jobs (only requirement drivers license or high school diploma) at $25/hour or more and usually overtime available and the average house is around $250k – but we’re also 55 miles from the nearest Walmart and over 200 from the nearest Costco or many other stores.
Divemedic · August 30, 2025 at 1:12 pm
It isn’t even that bad. Look at this listing. It’s a townhouse that is within easy driving distance to the Orlando tourist corridor (in other words, jobs).
3 bedrooms, 3 baths, 1262 square feet. To those who say there are no starter homes available, I found this with less than a 5 minute search. The cost (including HOA fees) is less than $2000 per month.
If you prefer a single family house with no HOA fees, there is always something like this. I am sure they will entertain a lower offer, say in the $240k range. That is a $2300 payment with taxes and insurance included. After 15 years, it’s paid off. I’m guessing that you could sell it after 10 years for a $40-50k profit.
The point is that there are plenty of starter homes, if you are willing to not live in luxury while you build wealth. You just have to decide what it is you want, wealth later or pretend wealth now. Either way, it isn’t anyone’s fault but yours if you can’t build wealth.
Steve · August 31, 2025 at 6:54 am
I used to live about an hour SE of Chicago. Well within driving range, but most people I knew rode the train to avoid traffic and $50+ per day parking. Prices very reasonable. I told people who were complaining about high-priced housing close to work to check out NW Indiana. Biggest mistake of my life. They brought their voting patterns with them.
I don’t tell anyone where I live now, (and my VPN reports my old locale, just in case) because I don’t need a bunch of whiny bastards as neighbors.
Rob · August 31, 2025 at 8:32 pm
I bought my house before covid and now it’s paid off, but I couldn’t afford to buy it today. According to my tax assessment, my home has more than doubled in value. Nearby sales concur. I simply cannot afford the cost that it would be now, less than 10 years since I bought it.
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