Now that Australia has all of that gun control.

Burglar: (breaks in)

Homeowner: (putting on condom) You just broke into the wrong house.

Categories: Humor


Big Ruckus D · September 6, 2023 at 6:21 pm

Deliverance, Aussie edition:

“Squeal like a kangaroo, boy!”

Ok, I don’t think roos squeal, but I’m just gonna run with that.

Also, there are things worse than dying. Getting forcibly butt fucked by the occupant of the home you chose to burglarize definitely makes the cut.

James · September 6, 2023 at 6:22 pm

Sooooo. Good going? Or…

Anonymous · September 6, 2023 at 6:36 pm

So, let me get this straight. He could have killed the intruder in defense of his home and that would have been no problem. But instead, he fucked the dude, so he goes to prison? have I got that right?

    Divemedic · September 6, 2023 at 7:36 pm

    No, it’s Australia. No self defense allowed.

      Big Ruckus D · September 6, 2023 at 8:24 pm

      True, but there is ample remote and inhospitable territory in which to hide a body down there, with little chance of being found.

      We can get a chuckle out the fact the burglar got sodomized, but I can’t really see what the hell the guy doing the pushing was thinking.

        Jonesy · September 6, 2023 at 10:21 pm

        Sounds like the guy doing the pushing might have won the lottery so to speak….instead of going out to forcibly roger some poor soul, this unlucky bastard landed in his lap. Wrong house indeed….

      Matthew · September 7, 2023 at 5:23 pm

      South Australia and Western Australia – the two states that have laws specifically dealing with self-defence to home invasion – require that occupants who act in defence of themselves or another, or to protect property against an intruder, must believe on reasonable grounds that it is necessary to do so, but relax requirements of proportionality in the home occupier’s response.

      So if there’s only one side to the story and it’s yours…

Aesop · September 6, 2023 at 11:34 pm


They’re sending a gay rapist to prison?!?!?

Oh no, Br’er Bear pleeeeeeease don’t throw me into dat Briar Patch!!!

And the way-more-than-he-bargained-for Back Door Man (see what I did there?) is probably more deterred than at any previous time in his life.

Noway2 · September 7, 2023 at 8:25 am

Things like this re how I know I’d never get picked for jury duty. I’d refuse to convict on the basis that the burglar chose to fuck around and got to find out.

S · September 7, 2023 at 3:01 pm

Me to home invader being held at gunpoint: Why would I call the cops? No one knows you are here and dog food is getting really expensive.

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