The New Yorker Post is claiming that Florida is a “snoozefest” compared to New York.
I guess it is.
- We don’t have impromptu boxing tournaments where half a dozen “teens” beat a single man senseless.
- Hey, we may eat early down here, but at least our ATMs can stay open after 5 p.m. without fear of being robbed.
- Our eco-tourists have fewer rats to look at.
The truth is:
- We aren’t all old.
- Yes, we eat early down here. I usually eat dinner before 6.
- No, we don’t have crocodiles, you moron. We have alligators. You must have learned that in your superior New York education you are bragging about.
- We have hurricanes. So what? We aren’t pussies about it. Remember “Superstorm” Sandy? Yeah, that was a Category 1 storm. Pussies.
- No, we don’t all sit around waiting for you to hand us money to drive your mother around.
On the other hand:
To the NY Post: please, please keep telling New Yorkers that Florida sucks. We don’t want your liberal asses and their votes down here. Stop trying to turn Florida into the southern annex of New York. We don’t care how you do things “up north” or even want to hear, “Well, up in New York, we…”
We don’t care, as long as you keep your liberal ideas, taxes, and votes up in New York, where they belong.