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The Dinner Dance

Here is something familiar to any man who has ever had a wife or girlfriend.

Woman: What do you want for dinner?

Man: Steak.

Woman: No, I don’t feel like that.

Man: Chinese

Woman: No, I don’t feel like that.

Man: Burgers?

Woman: No, I don’t feel like that.

<ten minutes and two dozen other suggestions>

Man: So just tell me what you DO want?

Woman: Whatever.

Man: Dammit.

Woman: I don’t understand why you get so upset.

Then you finally get somewhere, and she orders a f*cking salad, which she could have gotten at any one of the places that she shot down.

15 replies on “The Dinner Dance”

So very true. Nothing like a woman to make something simple so complex. Had that conversation way too many times with my wife, often several times a week.

Dude, you are brave putting this out there on your blog that surely your significant other knows about and reads.

And anonymity allows me to say that I understand exactly what you mean.

Let them eat ice cream. (sarc)
Children know how to play it when parents get divorced, just ask dad for chocolate cake supper.

Doesn’t happen with me with my first wife of 37 years. I’m damn lucky she understands that I am a chauvinist and believe both women and men have unique roles in life. We’ll go anywhere except a steak house as I will only be disappointed with a restaurant steak compared to what I can do with a piece of prime beef at home cooked outside.

You forgot about the “no don’t order thing for me“, then “hey can I have a little bit of stuff off your plate? “.

Wife of 33 years does that- then we both laugh because she didn’t realize she was doing it (again) until the words are already out of her mouth. Per 4-d chess I had planned for it with already checking the dessert menu to make up what was taken off my plate.

How would you analyze it if a man did this to you? You would conclude the man was bullying you, to prove you were below him in the social hierarchy.

This will only change if husbands stop obeying the legal system employees the wife hires. No child support; instead, if the woman rejects the man, she loses access to his paycheck. No no-fault divorce; instead, women are held legally accountable to make a good-faith effort to be a partner in a marriage.

When she says “anything you want”, just look at her with expectant eyes and a grin, mine always picks something pretty quick. 😉

I guess I’m lucky.
Me: Let’s go to
Wife: Do let’s.
A few days later:
Wife: I thought we’d go to
Me: Groovy.

Met up with a few friends yesterday afternoon at a sports bar. Guy and his wife sit down near us and order drinks. Bartender asks if they want a menu. “Nothing for me” wifey says, guy orders plate of fries to pick on because bars no longer have bowls of peanuts or pretzels for some reason. Wifey proceeds to chow down on fries after requesting ranch dressing to dip them in….

Obviously (although it took me over 20 years to figure out) she has one particular place in mind. But she wants to test ya’lls compatibility by seeing if you’ll correctly guess the one spot she wants to go to. If you guess correctly she’s happy, otherwise you get the dance. Total torture test. Pretty sure she said something about a certain restaurant 2 weeks back, in a whisper, while you were busy working on something and distracted. This is a test to see if she is more important than that sink you were fixing. Total power play. I ain’t got the right answer to it yet, but I now recognize it for what it is.

Last night’s dance was Mexican. Turns out, she wanted this queso dip appetizer that has sausage and jalapenos in it. That was all she had: queso and a salad.
Why didn’t she just say so?

The solution to this bullshit is:

Man: Let’s go, we’re grabbing dinner out.
Woman: Where at?
Man: It’s a surprise. (Audible chuckle). (End of discussion)

Bonus play: on the way to the “surprise” destination, pull into a McDonalds parking lot, get out and briefly check the front end of the car. Then get back in and tell her it felt like it was pulling to the right. Proceed to originally planned dinner spot.

Or just stay single and eat where and when you want.

Here’s the wise man.

If you stumbled the first steps of the dance and you realized too late that you’re in the holding pattern, it’s not too late. “I’m heading out. Find something here, or come with.” And no talking until you’re seated. Except maybe break silence for the McDonalds check.

Simple solution? Choose wisely beforehand with wife selection. Pay attention to what she eats on the dates and what her mother eats and her female friends eats.

And, most likely, still suffer.

And then select restaurants/foods she totally hates, and demand it. Stand up for yourself and get what you want.

Why? Because it’s one big power game that women play, subconsciously by many. It’s the same as when your dog looks at you while you’re eating.

Establish dominance. You choose the restaurant. You choose what she orders Worse that happens is she gets angry. (But many women will secretly be surprised and turned on due to you being ‘a bad boy.’)

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