When my son was young, he was small for his age. He came home from school one day, upset that while playing soccer, he accidentally kicked the ball through his own team’s goal. Because of this mistake, a 5th-grade kid had physically assaulted him. He told me that this kid had been hitting him and bullying him for the past several weeks, and was telling me that he no longer wanted to go to school. I called the school and was told: “Well, there are a lot of children out there for recess, so many that the teachers can’t watch everyone, all of the time.”
I told my son that the next time someone hit him, he should defend himself. He told me that he didn’t want to get in trouble. I responded by telling him to let me worry about that. I also pointed out to him that he had been playing Pop Warner football, and the kid who had hit him was no bigger than some of the other kids on his team.
A couple of days went by before he again came home from school, this time telling me that the kid had hit him, and he had done what I told him to and beat the snot out of the other kid. My son was upset, because he had a letter telling him that he was to be suspended for fighting.
I called the school and told them that I wanted a meeting immediately. I got one for the next day.
At this meeting, the answer that I got was that they had a “zero tolerance” policy for fighting, and the result of this was all kids who fight receive 3 days of out of school suspension. I pointed out that I had come to them just the previous week and was told they couldn’t watch everyone, so why now?
“Well, we saw the fight.” I told them that they have a legal duty to keep my child safe, and when they fail in that duty, even after being told that my child was being physically attacked, they were failing in that duty. To compound this by suspending my child when he defends himself from a physical attack is the height of irresponsible behavior.
I also told them, should this discipline stand, I would be back to the school the following day with an attorney, and we would see where that would take us. I had every intention of doing so- it wasn’t an idle threat.
The suspension was lifted, and the kid never touched my son again. The best part was that my son learned a couple of important lessons that day on how not to be pushed around by others.
You can’t let bullies, in this case a child and a lazy set of school staff, run roughshod over you. You exhaust your options for a peaceful solution, but once that has been seen to its completion, you have to go on to the next step. Unless you fight back, bullying behavior will always continue. The corollary to that was eloquently stated by Mike Tyson: “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.”
That’s the lesson for today. I’m sure each of you understands where that line of thought leads.
16 Comments
Jen · September 30, 2025 at 5:45 am
I was always the kid getting beat up, name called, and having my head shoved in the drinking fountain etc. Absolutely hated school, often dreamed of running away.
And, we always had to sit in alphabetical order, which meant never being able to get away from some of my tormentors. The school did nothing, despite multiple attempts by my parents to intervene, refused to change seating or class schedules or anything.
Then one morning in 10th grade English, I’m sitting there, waiting for class to start, and one of the tormentors swaggered in, flopped into his desk, twisted around, blurted “Hi [expletive]!” And hit me in the face with a rolled up magazine.
I fecking lost it. Years of this were too much. Beat the ever living snot out of a varsity wrestler right there in English class, screaming, crying, snotfaced, let him have it.
Stepped back, picked up my books and moved my seat to the other side of the room. You could’ve heard a pin drop. Our mild English teacher dove into his lesson as if nothing happened. The upshot was that I became more of a pariah, especially amongst the girls bc unladylike and all that, but bullying absolutely stopped.
Ffwd to me having kids in high school, and I was astounded at the ‘reminders’ they constantly distributed, regarding policies for “fighting” and the retaliation against anyone defending themselves. The school made it VERY clear that anyone ‘fighting’ would be suspended or expelled, but in practice, it only applied to the victims, not the aggressors. All while making lots of noise about the No Bullying policies. I told my kids i wanted them to defend themselves, and instantly got “Oh no, mama, we’ll get in trouble.”
I’m convinced it is all to do with conditioning citizens from a young age, to embrace passivity and learned helplessness. How else do you explain what is happening? We don’t fight back, protect ourselves. People in wrongthink areas get arrested for defending themselves here, and the Canadian head of police has even made multiple speeches telling people not to fight back when faced with violent home invasions, ‘just let them have what they want.’
I think the school policies are just early training for the chaos that is happening right now.
Tanfj · October 5, 2025 at 11:48 pm
My mom raced motorcycles with the Outlaws. She threatened to sever my principals spine with a chisel. She left it embedded into the middle of his desk. Told him go ahead and call the cops. I’ll be out on bail sometime.
Noway2 · September 30, 2025 at 7:21 am
Yes, I u detest and the bigger picture and agree.
This was also my experience in grade school. I got bullied until I fought back. The difference then was the principal’s response was, “good for you”, of course that was back in the 70s.
kevin · September 30, 2025 at 7:46 am
My son in HS had to do the same he mentioned another kid bigger(heavy) was bothering him .I said take care of business they both got 3 days in school in the same room the other kid never bothered him again.
Rick · September 30, 2025 at 2:40 pm
This agrees with, substantiates, my comment last week on another blog, Irons In The Fire, I believe.
No compromise with bullies.
Only fierce defense against bullies will stop the bullying.
School boards are typically lazy, looking for the easy way to preserve the status quo.
School boards actively resist criticism. They’ll proffer excuse then double down when called out. They act as petty tyrants.
Go figure, such boards are made of individuals elected from the community. Once seated in office they get busy establish their person fiefdom. They have become dictatorial.
juvat · September 30, 2025 at 8:35 am
Exactly the right way to handle the problem at both levels. And the bullies, at both levels, are more unlikely to cause their respective problems again. Well done!
juvat
Rick · September 30, 2025 at 2:44 pm
‘… at both levels …’
Juvat, you are correct to identify the board as bullies. Their actions prove it.
A. Monroe · September 30, 2025 at 8:35 am
Been saying the very same thing since the 1970’s after getting out of the Marine Corp. One of the basic rules of life. Sadly, most don’t seem to ‘get it’….and the wheel keeps turning.
Joe Roy · September 30, 2025 at 9:19 am
Great Story, good for you, When I was little and came home crying, Dad asked was the kid who hit you bigger? Yes sir. OK don’t start a fight but if he is bigger then you can pick up a stick to make it equal. I did and had to hide in the bushes after… his Mom didn’t like him coming home crying..
Grumpy51 · September 30, 2025 at 9:33 am
But, but, we’re told “violence doesn’t solve anything!” 😎
Au contraire! I taught my daughter – 1) tell them NO! and back away, keeping your eyes on them; 2) tell a teacher; 3) failing all above, unload on them (and the first words out of your mouth need to be – “you call my Daddy RIGHT NOW!”
And, yes, she had to defend herself (1st grade) against an older boy (2nd or 3rd grade). He ended up with a broken arm. She had ice cream that afternoon and never any more trouble from that boy or any other. Proud day for poppa bear!!
While I heard from teachers, I never heard a word from admin (small Christian school in LA).
JimmyPx · September 30, 2025 at 12:02 pm
EVERY boy has to face a bully when he is growing up.
The current sissified BS of suspending the kid who defended himself or even calling the cops is being done on purpose.
After all boys and girls are the same according to leftist ideology, can’t have toxic masculinity can we ?
Now what happens when that boy is a man and can be bullied because he is a wuss and won’t defend his wife of family ?
What happened to all of our fathers telling us “Never start a fight but always finish one” ?
Dan D. · September 30, 2025 at 12:57 pm
“This would not have a happy ending. So Ender decided he would not be the unhappiest at the end.” – Ender’s Game by Card
GrayDog · September 30, 2025 at 8:49 pm
Ocho, I and my oldest son lived this exact scenario 25 years ago. He came home with a torn sweatshirt. And during our discussion it was revealed that his shirt had been purposely torn by a bully during an elementary school yard soccer match. I asked him how he had responded and he said he didn’t because he did not want to get into trouble. I told him that if he did not respond appropriately the next time, he would be getting into trouble with ME. I then proceeded to teach him rudimentary boxing. which included installing an eye dot and a bloody nose. The next day I arranged a meeting with the Elementary school principal, with whom I had had a good relationship. During our conversation, she admitted that the school was aware of this bully’s behavior. I informed her that I had instructed my son not to be a victim of any bully. She informed me that the school district had a zero tolerance policy on violence. I informed her that I had a zero tolerance policy on a feminized school district teaching my son to be a victim of violence. If my son was punished after being FORCED to defend himself against a known bully, I would remove him to a private school and sue the school district for at least six figures for purposely failing to provide a safe work environment.
A few weeks later, a similar incident occurred. My son beat the ever living snot out of this well known bully. The school did not suspend my son. I wasn’t even called in for a parent teacher conference. I later enrolled my son into Aikido, and then Taekwondo. He was never directly bullied again. He wrestled in Middle School and High School. He never bragged about his martial arts skills. But his friends thought he must have some kind of superpower, because his obvious, unassailable confidence that always seemed to diffuse a bully situation. He was routinely taking strikes from and returning them to adult males in the Dojo. Wannabe high school gang-bangers were a joke to him. And no matter what, he knew that his Father had his back.
Beans · September 30, 2025 at 9:29 pm
My dad went through the USAF survival school that Congress eventually made ‘illegal’ because too many were getting hurt.
He taught me how to fight mean and cruel. Whack the sides of the knees, punch the balls, bite, kick, scream.
Very good words for a thin, sickly kid.
I went to my locker twice a year, once to open it at the beginning of the semester and once at the end. I was a backpack kid way before it was cool. Had a 3/4″ slab of plywood to serve as a backboard (and offensive weapon…) Got beat all the times. Got knocked off the 2nd story balcony onto the open stairwell. Always had two big fights a year, where I just wouldn’t give up.
The last fight, me at 130lbs, started because some football player, the coach’s favorite, slammed me into a locker in
the dressing room. I slammed back, repeatedly, until I was pulled off. My attacker was looking rather dazed and bloodied.
Got perp-walked to the VP’s office, where I told her I’d take my 30 licks with the paddle, which I took it, was less worse than the normal pummeling and kicking. Pussbag football player was crying. Got home, dad asked what happened (he already got the call) and then did a complete review of what I did wrong and right. That was it. The word got around as to what happened in the VP’s office thanks to students working in the office.
Quite frankly, Copulate School Policy. You and your kids’ safety is far more important than some petty bloated potentate who can’t even keep her cats from not crapping outside of the litterbox.
The same turdburglars who ‘punish both sides’ also fully believe in the Navaho way of game play, that is, there are no winners or losers. Didn’t save the Navaho from being bigly losers against the US Army or Congress. But that’s too much of a logical argument for your typical leftist.
Honk Honk · October 1, 2025 at 12:37 am
I got kicked in the balls with ball to toughen up.
Later we bum rushed bully into playground slide.
He didn’t bother us again.
Noway2 · October 1, 2025 at 7:37 am
I had a friend, Glenn, in high school. One time during an assembly he was being heckled by an asshole calling him, “Benny Beat Off”. He warned the guy to stop, but he didn’t. Glenn got up and held him in a head lock, pounding his face, in front of the entire school. One teacher grabbed Glenn from behind and Glenn spun around and knocked him out cold. Another came up and grabbed his face and was about to get put down when the principal told the teacher to let him go. He got a week suspension, er vacation, but nobody, I mean nobody, called him Benny Beat Off again.
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