As my readers will recall, my mother passed away a little over a month ago. When we initially went to the funeral home, her husband told us that he didn’t have any money, so my brother and I covered the costs associated with the cremation and other expenses. Over $3000 worth of expenses. At the time we paid, we designated my sister as the point of contact for the family. We paid for the cremation, 4 certified copies of the death certificate, and urns to split the ashes. (The Husband wanted some, my sister did, too. My brother and I didn’t get one, we just got the free container, because it’s our intention to bury Mom’s ashes in the grave that her and Dad already paid for.)
Once that was done, he asked us to provide him with one of the copies of Mom’s death certificate, and he also said that Mom didn’t want to be buried with her late husband (my Dad), but instead wanted to be buried with him (the widower). He asked us for another 10 large to cover the costs associated with a plot for the two of them, again claiming that he was broke. That was one thing that we weren’t going to pay for. Not my responsibility to pay for the burial plot for a man I barely knew.
He and mom were married a little over two years before her death. At that time, mom disposed of most of her stuff somehow, and moved in with him. Mom’s husband asked us to come over to his house and clean out Mom’s belongings. We agreed, because we were trying to find out what happened to a house full of expensive furniture, as well as the whereabouts of 150 thousand dollars in retirement funds.
Mom didn’t leave a will. Or so we thought. While we were cleaning out the detached garage, we found $4000 in cash and a copy of four wills. The first three were from when Dad was still alive. The fourth was interesting- it was less than 10 years old, named my brother as being the executor of the estate, and even though it was from before she remarried, it was the most current will. My sister handed the cash to the husband and his daughter before my brother and I could stop her. As a reader here, you would know that my sister is kind of stupid like that. She is also a Democrat, which explains why she doesn’t understand money, the law, or most other things of practical value.
WE contacted Mom’s stock broker to trace the money. What we didn’t know was that the husband and his daughter had taken Mom’s death certificate and a copy of their marriage license to the bank and had them cut the husband a check for the money. Not only that, but we found out that the husband had given Mom’s car away to his ex-wife. It turns out that the husband and daughter knew where the funds were the entire time, but neglected to tell us. They are deliberately hiding her assets.
When we pointed out that the estate hasn’t closed yet and they couldn’t be spending the money and giving away her possessions because things like funeral expenses needed to be paid from that estate, the daughter said “You aren’t expecting my father to pay for all of those things for your mother, are you? That’s HIS money now, because YOUR mother was planning on using that money to buy my dad a house. Her cremation expenses are your problem.”
My brother is PISSED. So am I. We are now paying an attorney to sue his ass and enforce the will. I don’t care if I don’t get a dime, but that asshole and his greedy twenty something daughter aren’t getting a penny more than the law says that they have to.
Folks- have a will. Keep it current. Don’t make your relatives deal with this sort of bullshit.