When I got divorced in 1997, I was making $1000 every two weeks. I lost $280 in taxes, leaving me $720 every two weeks. Following the state law formula, the court ordered that I pay $348 to my ex wife, nominally for child support, leaving me with $720 per month to live on ($372 every two weeks). The support was taken from my check before I even saw it so I wouldn’t be a ‘deadbeat dad.’ The rent on my apartment was $600 for a small one bedroom, making my rent more than 80 percent of my take home pay. I was soon homeless and without a car, moving from couch to couch at the homes of friends.
I understand feeling down when this happens:
American Citizen breaks down in tears as his most recent rent increase means 90% of his income now goes just to paying rent
— Wall Street Apes (@WallStreetApes) March 17, 2025
1 bedroom apartments in some states now average $2,200 to as high as $3,900
We have a cost to rent crisis in America, we are crippling our own citizens pic.twitter.com/0Zi4uMqSY7
The difference is that I didn’t stand in my kitchen, filming myself crying before posting it to social media. Instead, I did what a man does- I figured out a way to deal with it. In this guy’s case, he set up the camera, set the scene, then cried on cue. This isn’t genuine emotion, this is a man child looking for someone else to come and take care of his problems.
I got a second job, picking up garbage after the Shamu show at Sea World. I walked, rode a bike, and took the bus. I wouldn’t eat for several days at a time. I lost 30 pounds that summer. Two months later, I bought a car at a “buy here, pay here” place. I wound up living in that car for another few months. I was eventually able to get an apartment by moving in with several roommates.
There are different ways to deal with disappointment. You can sit around and cry about it while asking daddy government to come and fix it, or you can fix it yourself. It’s OK to bitch and complain a bit, but at the end of the day, your problems are yours to fix.
Most of us were poor at some point. Get roommates. Get a second job. Get a cheaper apartment.
16 Comments
TJ · March 21, 2025 at 9:04 am
Most young men go through a period where they are poor. Some less, some more than what you describe. But it is good for you. Not fun, but good. IMHO an essential part of making the transition from boy to man. Again, words seldom change the heart, but events (and circumstances) (and consequences) do change the heart. Lord have mercy!
It's just Boris · March 21, 2025 at 9:05 am
I wonder how often he visits Starbucks.
From when I was a student on a very limited income, the following helped a lot. A spreadsheet program helps but is by no means necessary if you can do basic math.
Step 1: starting with how often you get paid, figure daily, weekly, monthly and annual equivalents, e.g. how much you earn per day. Make a column for each time interval. If your pay is irregular, e.g. hourly or gig work, do the best you can to make a reasonable estimate. If you’re going to err, err on the low side of how much you make.
Step 2: for every regularly recurring expense you know you have (rent, car insurance, car payment, etc.) figure out the daily, weekly, etc. equivalent, and most importantly, how much it takes per pay period. Subtract from how much you bring in.
At this point, if the result is negative you know you have a real problem, and need to look for a cheaper place to live, cheaper car insurance, sell the car, etc.
Step 3: make estimates for things like gas for the car, basic groceries, tolls, etc. which often come on a more frequent basis. Generate the time period equivalents, and subtract those as well.
Step 4: take a hard look at those bottom numbers. Those are what you have as “discretionary” income shown as per-day, -week, etc. Compare the cost of your daily Starbucks with the daily amount. Compare the cost of a night out on the town with the weekly. And so forth. And yes, realize that that daily Starbucks is maybe $5 per day … but also $35/week and $150/month! You have to subtract from all columns. So do the breakdown for your preferred little luxuries too, and see what they’re really costing you.
Step 5: (optional but highly recommended) Now set up auto withdrawals, one per pay period, to a separate bank account to “escrow” the pay-period amount you calculated for annual or semiannual expenses like car insurance. (You can pay by the month with some companies, but annually is almost always cheaper for the same coverage.) This way you won’t be caught short when the bill arrives.
A friend in school told me this was a pretty depressing way to think about things, when I showed it to her. But then, I never had to sponge money from friends to make a car insurance payment (like she often did) and a little treat like a movie night was something I appreciated as a treat.
There are many more complications one can add, e.g. taxes. But this gives a decent start to solidly assessing where you’re at and what your options are.
Jonathan · March 21, 2025 at 9:16 am
When I was unemployed for 6 months I didn’t file for unemployment and I didn’t accept handouts.
I did apply for jobs by the hundred and accepted short term jobs whenever I could.
I kept my up my mortgage payments while trying to sell my house (which settled the day I moved for my new job).
Notice that I moved for a job – I didn’t whine about choosing expensive housing in an area I couldn’t get a good paying job.
Aesop · March 21, 2025 at 10:25 am
At a certain point, shooting the ex has to be considered as a viable alternative.
I didn’t say do it, but it bears some mature reflection.
Marriage is not a suicide pact, where you vow to die if the contract is broken.
If we’re going to have no fault divorce, alimony is simply tyranny.
Both parties should liquidate joint assets, divide them in half, and walk away clean, forever.
If the court wishes to preserve the illusion of fairness, only child support is legal, and that should require both parties to pay equal amounts to the court each month, that amount to be turned over to the custodial parent, or be found in arrears to the exact same extent.
If millions of dads and ex-husbands simply decided to track down and hang all the family court judges until the current travesty was made equitable, it’d be a great start.
It’s the only way they pay attention.
JimmyPx · March 21, 2025 at 10:10 pm
Aesop, It sure sounds like you had your turn with the “family court” system.
People say what was your real “red pill” moment ? Mine was when I went into that court and saw a woman judge with hair shorter than mine who hated men. My lawyer told me (exact quote):
“You are going to get f*****d and f****d badly but if you do what I say I’ll try to limit the damage”.
So even though I had overwhelming evidence of her cheating on me judge said “not relevant she can have whatever relationships she decides”. That she had drained our bank accounts judge said “marital assets her money” and she moved loverboy into my house with my kids “not relevant”.
Instead the judge threw the book at me who wasn’t even alleged to have done anything wrong. I lost my house, my stuff, half my retirement MASSIVE child support and alimony and I ended up living in my RV for 4 years broke as a joke all while she and loverboy lived it up on MY money !!
Honestly if it wasn’t for not wanting to mess up my kids and that I’m a Christian, those 2 would be 6 feet under. That divorce set me back 15 years financially and where I was all set to retire at 55, I now can’t even think of retiring until I’m 67 (and I’m 56 now).
The “family courts” are an abomination and you will find no justice there. If you are good honest hard working guy, you are gonna get screwed BIG TIME !!
SocoRuss · March 22, 2025 at 12:13 pm
My son just went thru what you did and will continue for a long time, of course didn’t listen to me about island girls and the military. He got fucked and doubled that by her going back to Hawaii with kids so their crooked courts have control. And now we dont get to see grandkids but maybe once a year. She keeps putting them in summer school to punish everyone so no long visitation per court decree but rules dont matter to these people. But I do agree with Aesop on this, these cunts need to die along with the royal judges, just saying as a commenter not that I would ever make these fuckers gator food.
Randy Sanders · March 21, 2025 at 10:28 am
I have been there, my friend.
Steve · March 21, 2025 at 11:41 am
Yep. During college, I shared a 1 BR with my brother, and we ended up in the situation where a daily ramen packet was too expensive. We took in 2 more roommates, and that was enough to have rice every day, with some Hamburger Helper thrown in every once in a while. Living the way many now critique Indian H1bs, the way Americans just won’t do.
That next summer, I worked 1 full time and 3 part time jobs and saved up enough money to not ever have to go through that again.
SoCoRuss · March 21, 2025 at 12:48 pm
DM, your solution is what most of us did when we were in the hole. I had a family and raised 2 sons and NEVER got or expected any assistance, so it can be done. But that’s not how these kids were taught to deal with issues. They wait for .GOV or someone else to come fix or pay for their every desire. If I hear give to my Go Fund Me one more time I will fucking scream.
J J · March 21, 2025 at 3:40 pm
I’ll just add another middle class white male to the group who was desperately poor for a period. Thank goodness there were always lots of crap jobs that had a lot of turnover that allowed you to work multiple jobs.
For the young man in the video, “wipe your vagina and go find an additional job or three.”
Scott Norris · March 21, 2025 at 4:20 pm
Oh ! Lived in some fleabag shitholes in my late teens and 20’s !!
Stealth Spaniel · March 21, 2025 at 4:30 pm
I agree with Aesop-marriage and children is not a suicide pact. Every single one of us, has been through ugly broke, ugly pinching pennies, and finally! -Glorious Frugality so we are never dead broke again. This whining asshole needs to move (I have done the 2 1/2 hour one way commute…) or downsize (tiny house anyone?) or have a garage sale or some GD thing. What a weasel.
k where she REALLY spent the money?? I do think that most guys get a raw deal.
I have to ask; where was the ex-wife’s contribution to the childcare and other needs? Did any of the judicial imbeciles actually L
Cederq · March 21, 2025 at 6:08 pm
When I discharged out of the Army in Dec 1979 I returned home to the small city I grew up in and discovered the rents were a hell of a lot more than I imagined. I wanted to attend school which I did, the nursing program at a local community. I had left a 19′ travel trailer at my parents house in the back in a storage building. I had stored it for long term storage. I refurbished the trailer and made any repairs and made sure the furnace and refrigerator worked, they did! I moved it to a small RV park just outside the town and lived in that the two and half years in college at $200 space rent and I preformed mowing and yard work and some minor maintenance for my electricity and propane and I worked three nights a week at a local nursing home graveyards to support myself. I bought a small used 1975 Toyota pick up with a canopy and all I would allow my dad to help is list me on his car insurance, besides doing yard work for him and meals which I got a lot of leftovers. I lived on less then $700.00 a month and paid for my tuition and books without getting a nickel of student loans. I did apply for the Perkins Grants and scholarships. I wasn’t going to get into debt for school, of course girlfriends and dating was out the window and I made my own coffee and used my Stanley Thermos until I wore it out… There is a way to live very cheaply and yet not in dire straights or cry about it! Yes, I sacrificed being around buddies and dating, women were a pain in the ass back then anyway as they mostly still are…
William Ashbless · March 21, 2025 at 6:21 pm
Truth:
You always have enough money for what is important to you. Spending it on DoorDash, Starbucks, Spa days, BMW’s is great. But, if you end up strapped for cash you need to figure it out.
As a young man I determined the most important thing to me was owning a home. I scrimped and saved and had one by myself at 27, despite having a low skill job and not a princely salary.
My contemporaries drove nicer cars, went to Vegas, and still rent.
Rick · March 21, 2025 at 9:51 pm
Does he have a grandparent who would be glad to have him?
A nephew, 24 yrs, lives with my mother. It’s beneficial both ways. He attends a trade school, already three offers for F/T employment, starting at $22/hr, $30+ within one year.
Does this crybaby have any family, or will his pride not allow such living accomodations?
Likewise, what about roommates?
Like many, I have been through the wringer. I agree, trials do make a better person.
The saying is true; it’s not how many times you fall, it’s how many times you get back up.
This whiney brat is looking for others to lift him up. It wouldn’t be compassionate and he’s doing himself a disservice.
It looks like he’s trying to manipulate others.
The Great Reset Leap Forward · March 22, 2025 at 6:55 pm
You’ll own nothing and like it.
Property is theft comrade.