My wife and I are spending our anniversary in the Bahamas. Her parents asked if they could come as well, so they are here with us.
My mother in law is the cheapest person I have ever met. Whenever we go places where anything is included, she gorges herself on it. I have seen her eat the salsa that comes with chips at a Mexican restaurant with a spoon and keep asking for more because “it’s free.”
I have one odd thing that I am picky about food. I won’t eat anything that anyone else has touched. Once you touch it, it’s yours. Like many people in the medical field, I am a bit of a germophobe.
With the stage set, we move on to today’s topic. We were at a restaurant for lunch that charges a flat fee for the meal. Whenever the appetizer came, it was vegetables, shrimp, and pita bread with various dipping sauces: hummus, baba ganoush, and tzatziki. I watched as the double and then triple dipped her food. I asked her not to do that, so I also watched as she took some tzatziki, licked her spoon clean, then used it to take some baba ganoush. At that point, I wasn’t going to eat any more of the appetizer.
When it came time to order entrees, you had a choice of things like filet mignon, broiled lobster, poache grouper, and other proteins. They came paired with sides. She ordered lobster and some grouper, but told the server not to bother bringing sides. Trying to “get her money’s worth,” you see.
When the meal arrived, she used her fingers to push food onto her fork, then licked her fingers clean.
It was really embarrassing. I get along with the MIL most of the time, but eating out with her is not on my list of favorite things to do.
15 Comments
Grumpy51 · November 11, 2024 at 5:32 pm
I’m going to guess it”ll get worse as she ages…..
ENJOY your time with your wife……
wojtek · November 11, 2024 at 7:18 pm
And here I was getting ready to buy tickets to Bahamas, because I though Bahamas are “So Cheap, It’s Embarrassing” :)))
Hammer Down · November 11, 2024 at 7:32 pm
You can drag them out of the trailer, but you can’t cut the trailer outta them
Dan D. · November 11, 2024 at 7:58 pm
“That boy is a P-I-G pig!”
TakeAHardLook · November 11, 2024 at 8:18 pm
Those descriptions are quite repulsive. Especially the “lick the spoon” part (in the Age of COVID, yet)!
There’s a joke: Q: What’s the difference between in-laws & outlaws?
A: Outlaws are wanted.
Difficult to do on a ‘captured’ vacation but I personally would try to absent myself from as many shared meals as possible. Be creative. I’ve done it (avoiding a truly annoying vegan neighbor on a cruise ship. Not easy to do, but a triumph nonetheless)!
Enjoy your time off.
Thomas · November 11, 2024 at 10:12 pm
Given what you have said of your age , your MIL has to be in the late 70’s or early 80’s. She was most likely raised that way, and it will never get better. I agree with you that it is bothersome, but probably not a hill to die on. Good Luck.
My money’s worth · November 12, 2024 at 5:27 am
This blog entry was truly worth what I paid for it. I don’t care about your MIL giving you the ick with her table manners. The whole thing comes across as beneath you, and I’m sure she’d be really happy to read your bitching about her lack of grace behind her back. It’s petty, nasty and for no good reason, and not up to your usual writing standard. There. I had my bitch – but to your face. I hope you don’t ban me, but too bad if you do.
Divemedic · November 12, 2024 at 7:05 am
I don’t ban people for disagreement. I would expect my readers to know that.
Anonymous · November 12, 2024 at 5:44 am
You’re a better man than me, I would have been NO, when they asked if they could come. Zero chance I would have gone with the in-laws. I would have told my wife, “have a good time”
Tom235 · November 12, 2024 at 8:27 am
Anon 5:44. I agree but it’s not my life. In my life, I’d spend my anniversary with and only my wife, not relatives. That’s what other holidays are for.
But no disrespect Divemedic – you have your reasons.
Don Curton · November 12, 2024 at 8:45 am
My wife’s a germaphobe and 30 years ago I made lots of fun of her about it. Somewhere between being newlyweds and now I caught the germophobia from her and although not nearly as bad, I too notice the germs and ick factor of other people. I can stand sharing the dip, but double dipping and licking the spoon is too much. The solution is to move fast and spoon some on your plate first before that happens. What’s on your plate is yours, the common bowl is then returned for everyone else.
During the first several years of marriage, the M-I-L would rent several adjacent condo’s on the beach and then invite all her children (with their families) for a group vacation. While it wasn’t the vacation I would have picked, it wasn’t too bad. Of all the attending, I was the only one to offer to split costs, which tells you something of the others. After several group vacations, the infighting between sisters got out of hand and that all ended. Families, especially inlaws, can be exhausting.
Stealth Spaniel · November 12, 2024 at 1:31 pm
Yikes! This is why you teach children from the Sippy Cup to be clean about themselves, and practice good manners. Nowadays, few-if any-have good table manners. If you don’t know the fork layout or other handy things, get a good etiquette book. You might want to gift the MIL who is suddenly adulting without a clue. Even my cocker spaniels can go to Lazy Dog and behave themselves.
Bad Dancer · November 12, 2024 at 5:58 pm
Congrats on the anniversary and hope y’all have a great time.
Got any fun expeditions planned or just going to relax and recharge?
CelticGirl424 · November 12, 2024 at 7:37 pm
Happy belated Veterans Day
Boneman · November 13, 2024 at 5:47 am
Ugh… I feel your angst there. I have a 93 Y.O. Mother in-law w dementia and OCD that lives with us and trying to eat with her at the same table is indeed a challenge.
Short of putting on a pair of blinders, I try to keep my eyes in my own plate.
It’s both disturbing and mind numbing. I just would like to know where such things as “manners” and simply “Civilized” behaviors go?
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