This is Criminal

Here are some things that your tax dollars have been paying for:

1. National Squirrel Census $2.3M

2. Federal Committee on Sandwich Standards $5M

3. Bureau of Uneven Sidewalk Awareness $1.8M

4. National Soap Carving Championship Grant $700K

5. Bureau of Left Handed Scissors $250K

6. National Moth Appreciation Day Initiative $250K

7. The Federal Cheese Wheel Roll Off $1.2M

8. The Office of Inflatable Pool Regulations $500K

9. Duck Quack Research Fund $4M

10. National Database of Presidential Hairstyles $800K

11. National Pillow Fluffing Initiative $1.5M

12. Bureau of Elevator Music Standards $2.1M

13. Federal Bureau of Traffic Cone Counting $1.3M

14. Office of Seasonal Pumpkin Oversight $800K

15. National Chair Spinning Safety Council $400K

16. Federal Kazoo Orchestra Grant $2M

17.American Cloud Watching Fund $1.1M

18. The Department of Leftover Labeling $600K

19. The Bureau of Ice Cube Uniformity $2.5M

20. The National Velcro Noise Study $1.7M

21. The National Bubble Wrap Stress Relief Study $1.4M

22. Bureau of Mailbox Feng Shui $900K

23. Federal Balloon Animal Training Academy $2.3M

24. National Pretzel Untwisting Initiative $600K

25. Department of Sock Pairing $1.8M

26. Federal High Five Coordination Bureau $1.2M

27. National Ice Cream Cone constructural  Integrity Lab $700K

28. Office of Puddle Depth Measurement $3M

29. Bureau of Alarm Clock Testing $1.5M

30. Federal Litter Clean Up Task Force $2M

Of course, this isn’t REALLY where the money goes. This is a grift, so that people can steal money from the treasury.