Flying sucks

I hate flying. Not because of a fear of flying or crashing. I hate flying because it is a truly horrid experience. Let me tell all of you why:

I arrived at the McCarron airport in Las Vegas yesterday at 4 pm, Pacific time. I have TSA Pre-check, which supposedly means that I have passed a background check that allows me to fly without removing my shoes or belt, among other things. Except the TSA has their metal detector turned to its most sensitive setting, which requires me to remove my wedding ring, watch, and belt EVERY. STINKING. TIME. This REALLY pisses me off. Do you want to know why?

Because on more than one occasion I have had 2- TWO- pepper spray dispensers and a push dagger in my carry on. Once, it was an industrial sized can of bear mace that I had forgotten was in my bag when I flew home from Alaska. The TSA is a bunch of incompetent asshats.

With that out of the way, my flight boarded at 5:30 for a 6:05 departure. With a flight time of four and a half hours, plus a triple time zone change, we were scheduled to arrive in Orlando at 1:40 in the morning.

We were initially delayed because a suitcase had been checked on board by a passenger who was not onboard the flight. Big no-no. So we had to delay while they located the asshole in one of the airport bars. By the time that was sorted out, Southwest airlines had a computer failure that grounded all of the company’s aircraft. We sat at the gate with no air conditioning for over two hours.

The guy in my row, a black man, decided to take off his shirt and socks. He began rubbing his feet and fanning himself with the plane brochure. The smell was horrific. As time marched on, some people left the plane. The guy finally went to a row with open seats.

We finally left the gate at 8:15. There were crying babies in the rows behind me, so I put on my noise cancelling headset. The WiFi in the plane was broken, so no in flight movies, music, or entertainment of any kind. Southwest doesn’t sell or allow any alcohol on their aircraft, so I decided to try for some sleep. You know how that goes.

We landed in Orlando at 3:30, and by the time I collected my bags from the carousel and my car from long term parking, it was 4:30. I finally got home at 5:45, to collapse in my bed until 10 o’clock.

Southwest had another ground stop caused by another computer issue less than 18 hours later. In all, the two delays cancelled or delayed over 2,800 flights.

Have I mentioned how much I hate the entire experience of flying? I will say that, other than flying, it was a very relaxing and much needed week of R&R. Back to work in the morning.