Watch this video, then I will tell you my own story.
She claims to be an independent woman while at the same time wants her father to pay for her wedding, because she can’t. That doesn’t sound very independent to me.
When my daughter was 15 years old, she was dating this 20 year old loser who it turned out didn’t have a driver’s license because his had been suspended. When I told him that he couldn’t take her anywhere in a car since he had no driver’s license, he told me to mind my own business. I tried explaining to her that he was a loser who couldn’t date women his own age, so he was chasing younger girls, and all he wanted was to get laid. She told me that I was too old to understand how it is “nowadays” and that they were soulmates, and there was nothing I could do to keep them apart.
See, school taught her that she was a strong girlboss who wasn’t owned by anyone. She could decide for herself, thank you very much.
The young lad sent me an email telling me to mind my own business or he would come over with a bat and teach me a lesson. The next time he came over, I pulled a gun on his smarmy ass and told him that if I caught him coming over to my house again, I would kill his ass and produce the email as evidence in my trial.
I caught them once, having sex on my couch. I called the cops, who did exactly nothing.
Things degenerated to the point where she would just walk out whenever she pleased. Out of the house while I was taking a leak, out of school when he wanted to see her, nothing worked. I even tried getting a restraining order, but the courts denied granting it because she begged them not to. It turns out that the courts hold a teenage girl’s opinion in more regard than that of her parents.
On the day she turned 18, my daughter came out of her room and told me that she was now an adult and could do whatever she wanted. I pointed out to her that part of being an adult is understanding that adults have responsibilities, and one of those is to learn that there are consequences for every action you take, meaning that you can’t always do whatever you want.
She replied that she was done with my “bullshit rules” and she was going to live with her soulmate. I told her that, if she decided that she was an adult, then she needed to understand that, as an adult, she would have to provide everything on her own. Don’t come back here and ask for any handouts, not even a single dollar. She walked out.
I didn’t see her again for four years. That was when she came to me and asked for money for her wedding. It appears that she had broken up with her soulmate six months after moving in with him, and he stalked her to the point where she had to get a restraining order. She met this new guy, they were in love, and wanted to get married. She wanted me to pay for the wedding. I told her no.
My ex-wife (her mother) called me to tell me what an asshole I am, before telling me that I should pay for the wedding AND the honeymoon to Alaska, a bill that came to over $20,000. I said no. She is an adult, and I am not going to have her turn her back on me, only to come crawling back whenever she needed money.
The biggest lesson that she learned was just a few months after my grandson was born. Her husband ran off with an only fans porn actress, leaving my daughter and his kids high and dry. That was what she needed to grow up. The responsibility of having children of her own taught her lessons that she was unable to listen to when I tried to teach them.
Our relationship has never been the same as it once was, but we have slowly come to terms with what happened.
All because society and our kids’ schools fill these kids’ heads with ideas about the rights of being an adult, but don’t bother to teach them about the responsibilities that come with it.
You can’t be an independent adult if you need someone else’s money to pay for it.
21 Comments
oldvet50 · October 22, 2024 at 1:19 pm
Where to begin…. at first read of the title, I thought this was a screed about girls not being subject to the draft, but that was the era I grew up in.
How could you not have that dirtbag arrested for having sex with a minor since he was an adult?
Or at a minimum, use the threat of bodily harm to you (with email as proof) to get a restraining order on you and your family?
I am sincerely sorry for the heartache this must have put you through and I’m glad you are re-establishing your relationship (grandkids are great!).
Divemedic · October 22, 2024 at 4:50 pm
You can’t make the police arrest anyone.
As for the restraining order, the judge looked at her and asked her if she was afraid of him. She said, “No, I love him,” So the judge dismissed the entire case.
Parents are legally responsible for everything their kids do, but have no authority or power over them.
BobT · October 22, 2024 at 1:43 pm
Good write-up. So many in that situation today.
Dealing with 3 of those. One has finally grown up and we have a relationship we are working on – but it will never be the same. Broken trust is nigh on impossible to rebuild. The other 2 may never grow up.
lynn · October 22, 2024 at 2:20 pm
I am seeing this same type of story all over the place. This is very sad for both of y’all. I hope that your relationship will continue to improve.
My wife’s BFF lost her 27 year old daughter to a heroin overdose yesterday. She had been on methadone for 3 years but got some heroin Saturday night and was unresponsive with no or little brain activity Sunday morning. Her true love enticed her to Los Angeles seven years ago and they went through the progression of drugs, living in a tent behind the Jack-In-Box on Sunset Blvd in LA. Her true love eventually got her on heroin. She came home to Mom and Dad four years ago, all messed up but they took her back in.
My wife’s BFF gave her daughter’s kidneys yesterday to a lady on her street in Fort Worth, Texas that had been on the transfer list for eight years. So a little sunshine came out of this disaster.
SoCo Russ · October 22, 2024 at 4:25 pm
So true.
You have the patience and restraint of Job. Neither me a born and bred South Carolina boy or any of my family living in Florida would have tolerated the soulmate. Some of these so called tough boys have to be taught Stone Cold Southern Respect for their elders or else. Different times I guess.
Divemedic · October 22, 2024 at 4:49 pm
The problem wasn’t with him. It was her. She just had it in her head that this is what she was going to do.
SoCoRuss · October 23, 2024 at 2:01 pm
I get that but he did openly threaten you so he has shown no respect for authority for you as her father and that makes him unpredictable and volatile, that changes things for me.
I am SO glad I didn’t have girls, I would still be in prison…
Anonymous · October 22, 2024 at 5:26 pm
The system is specifically designed to impart the rights and privileges without the responsibility in order to create dependence on government.
StBernard · October 22, 2024 at 6:17 pm
Told my daughter we’re done until you can act like you have some of my blood in you.. 7 yes. Iater she showed up & apologized for being so stupid. She now respects my reasons for being like I am, & acts more like her bullhead old man.lol
Fishlaw · October 22, 2024 at 6:58 pm
Sorry about the heartache. If you don’t read Filthie’s blog, you should. Similar trouble except his daughter decided she was a lesbian. Raising kids is the hardest thing I ever did.
Hariman · October 22, 2024 at 7:04 pm
Schools and mainstream Hollywood spoil children rotten and tell them nothing about actually functioning in the world.
I was pulled out of school for “home-schooling” after failing the 6th grade (I hated homework), and people can’t tell that I’m a middle school dropout because a little common sense goes a long way.
William Russell · October 22, 2024 at 9:22 pm
Have probably lost my 28 year old son to similar circumstances. After cheating on me my ex moved to Europe with victim/husband #3. She and “educators” from the local college convinced my son that “he couldn’t make it” here in the US, and somehow it was my fault. After not speaking to me for a bit over a year, back in January with the ex’s help he packed up and moved back to Europe with her, left no forwarding phone#, address, email or any way whatsoever to contact him. Since I won’t get the shot and you can’t fly internationally without it, chances are I’ll never see him again.
TB · October 22, 2024 at 9:26 pm
Looks like this particular girl is doing a “reddit reenactment” video. IDK if she’s lying about that or not but there’s enough of this entitlement to go around.
https://www.tiktok.com/@shaylamherrington/video/7406838600681262378?lang=en
JimmyPx · October 22, 2024 at 9:41 pm
My adopted middle daughter is like this to a T. She won’t listen to a damn thing I say, keeps hooking up with losers (first male and now female –embrace the gay) and now is in a real mess.
She lives 1200 miles away from me, she and her girlfriend got in a fight over my daughter’s NEW girlfriend (she’s poly so can have multiple “partners”).
Girlfriend is crazy so she calls the cops and said that daughter tried to strangle her. Under that state’s law, that’s FELONY domestic violence with a minimum sentence of 3 – 10 years in prison.
Of course, I don’t hear a thing about any of this until she gets out of jail and then tells me.
Dumbass is going on and on about her feelings and she’s “gonna tell that bitch off” ignoring the whole trial for a felony AND the automatic restraining order. She called me an asshole when I told her “screw your feelings and that crazy bitch…. you’re facing YEARS in prison with large marge not the local jail” !! She said “It’s fine, I’ll tell the judge that I have mental health issues and I’ll get counseling…it’ll be fine”.
I asked if she talked to her public defender and she said “yeah, she said the same stuff you are but she doesn’t know what she’s talking about… my friends on Tiktok told me all about what I need to do” !!
I told her “DO EXACTLY what the public defender told her and pray that she can do a plea deal and knock it down to a misdemeanor..you’ll do jail time then but not prison”.
She then got pissed, said I’m an idiot and hung up on me.
What can you do with that ? She won’t listen to me and my Ex wife and I adopted her from the state and she’s got some wires crossed somewhere. This dumbass believes morons on Tiktok over me and her lawyer. She’ll probably threaten to off herself (she’s threatened that before) when reality finally hits her dumb ass.
Joe Blow · October 23, 2024 at 7:26 am
Sorry you had to go through something like that buddy. We don’t always see eye to eye, but I have a daughter, too. That sucks.
Divemedic · October 23, 2024 at 7:53 am
All of those events happened two decades ago. Things are far worse now for the families of today.
Wild, wild west · October 23, 2024 at 8:26 am
The poor guy that Trollip is gonna marry is in for it. I see that frequently. Sickening.
Sorry to hear about the kid issues the rest of you have had. I see that all the time, too. Also sickening.
TJ · October 23, 2024 at 10:54 am
Kids … you raise them and send them off to the world and there is no way to protect that little piece of your heart from the inevitable crash. My heart feels for you. Sometimes I look at oak trees dropping acorns or maple trees with their helicopter seeds and I think of how few of them will turn into trees and how many will be eaten or crushed. The odds are not in your favor. The flip side is that, surrounded by a healthy, racially homogeneous, Christian culture, the odds are very much more in your favor. We don’t know what we’ve lost ’till it’s gone. Lord have mercy!
Silverfox · October 23, 2024 at 11:31 am
All in here too. I’ve got four, females’. Basically same patterns as comments above. I don’t know what they think they will come back to if they ever wise up and wish to restore a relationship.
But then, who among us wasn’t to some degree, in common with them. Certainly not me.
Silverfox.
Skeptic · October 23, 2024 at 12:26 pm
Wow. Never having fathered a daughter, I come at this from a different angle. I’m just trying to imagine what a betacuck wuss it would take to marry this harpy. I mean, if she’s like this how, what the hell is she going to be in 20 years? Not that I think this marriage will last 20 years; I’d give it five at the most. Stronk Independent Wahman Girlbosses aren’t suited for marriage or relationships.
DM, I’m truly sorry to hear about your daughter. You did the right things, and sometimes doing the right thing has to be its own reward, because it’s a thankless job.
Funny anecdote that this reminded me of; When I was 20, I was picking up a girl (let’s call her Becky) for our second date. The first date had been nice, dinner and a movie. This one was going to be dinner and a party, if I remember right. I hadn’t met her dad when I picked her up the first time because he had been working. Now, what you should understand about me is that I’m not huge, and probably not particularly physically imposing to look at. I know how to handle myself, but I’ve never been one of those guys who looks for a fight. I’m clean cut – even at that time, I had short hair. Had a nice shirt on, no jean jacket, etc. I looked fairly preppy, I suppose. I did drive a pretty sweet Chevelle, because I’ve always liked old cars.
Anyway, I pull up in the driveway, and as I’m getting out, here comes dad. He’s wearing a work shirt and glaring at me. He says something like, “I know you’re here to take my daughter out. You’ll have her home by midnight, and she’d better be okay, or I’m coming to find you. And if you don’t like that, I can kick your ass right now, and you’d better believe I can.” Well, I’ve dealt with fathers before, but nothing like this. This was bullshit.
So I said, “Look, I don’t know if you can kick my ass or not, and neither do you. And I suppose that if we want to find out right now, we can. But before we do, I just want you to admit that I’ve done or said nothing to deserve the way you’re treating me. Admit that. And then either we become friends or we fight, and I really don’t give a shit which.” And I stuck out my hand. He looked me in the eye for a minute, and then he smiled and shook my hand. Over his shoulder, I saw that Becky and her mom had been watching this whole thing fearfully.
I dated Becky for six months. I was friends with him for 27 years, until he died. There are probably men in the world that I’ve drank more bourbon with, but I’d have to think about who.
Vitaeus · October 23, 2024 at 7:12 pm
Divorced Dad. Picking up my 11 year old on Saturday. He finally convinced my ex to send him my way.
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