What caliber for monkeys who are infected with a deadly virus and escaped from a research lab?
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From Mrs. Medic
My wife sent me the following picture with the caption: This is your finance lesson of the day The lowest 5 are: Alaska Wyoming New Hampshire Florida (tie] Tennessee (tie)
30 Comments
Plague Monk · December 21, 2024 at 4:14 am
May I suggest the .22 Hornet? .22 rimfire is insufficient, IMHO, while the .222 and .223 are too powerful for the suburban area(and I’m not a fan of the AR-15 class of firearms).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/.22_Hornet
I inherited one of these from my father some 12 years ago: tack driver:
https://www.gunbroker.com/item/1079923200
These are nice shooters and a lot more practical in the field:
https://www.gunbroker.com/item/1079744534
Michael · December 21, 2024 at 5:53 am
20 gauge or better shotgun #4 duck shot. Don’t want to worry about massive over penetration.
A single shot folder might be less obvious when you’re leaving the area, as SOMEONE will object to shooting around His, Her, It’s kids or pets.
Milton · December 21, 2024 at 7:18 am
Caliber, schmaliber. One and a quarter ounce of number four lead shot ought to do the job.
Have seen some iguana videos where they used an air rifle, in populated areas of Florida.
Xzebek · December 21, 2024 at 10:47 pm
5.7×28 hollow point. Excellent for varmints if all types.
StBernard · December 21, 2024 at 7:21 am
45/70. Can’t be too sure!
EN2 SS · December 21, 2024 at 8:06 am
Any will do just fine, if the caliber in hand is placed properly.
It's just Boris · December 21, 2024 at 2:12 pm
Flamethrower. Need to destroy the pathogen too.
WDS · December 21, 2024 at 9:58 am
I’d suggest a suppressed firearm so as not to get a visit from your HOA. Whaddaya do with the carcass though?
Stefan v. · December 21, 2024 at 9:58 am
If the monkeys are far enough away, then something that either keeps a maximum of the monkeybits and monkeyjuices in the carcases, or incinerates them and disinfects the surroundings. Glazer-type frangible projectiles, or indendiary like White Phosporous and Napalm. Small atomic weapons will certainly do the job, keep that option open, it is better to err on the side of caution.
A reasonably flat trajectory and short flight time for fleeting targets, with good stopping power but avoiding overpenetration. Leave the .50 BMG, .416 Rigby, .300 WinMag and such alone, reach for things like .22 WMR, .22 Hornet, .30-30, or any suitable ranged incendiary munition you have available.
With handguns the noxious primates must be neutralised immediately, as they are very agile. Ammunition capacity, rapid reloading and stopping power may be more important than avoiding dismemberment of the target. MOPP gear and emergency decontamination gear are advisable. In the worst case, save your last round for yourself, this may be preferable to being patient zero as this carries high risk of being dissected in the same blackops lab the monkeys escaped from.
MC=cChuck · December 21, 2024 at 11:35 am
.22 or .25 pneumatic air rifle with suppressor. (They’re unregulated on air rifles, because they’re not firearms.)
TakeAHardLook · December 21, 2024 at 12:19 pm
My vote is “Dragon’s Breath” 12 ga shot shells. Why just kill when you can cauterize/sterilize the creature with one shot?
Of course, pay heed to the background because anything flammable is going straight to hell.,
Scott Norris · December 21, 2024 at 1:59 pm
.22 is fine, .22 Mag if your worried.
Dan D. · December 21, 2024 at 2:57 pm
I’m fond of hollow point .22 WMR in the PMR-30. I know it looks like the squirt gun emoji but the mag is big enough to handle a couple of monkeys on the cheap.
John in Indy · December 21, 2024 at 5:00 pm
Overpenetration may be a problem, as the monkeys are small, which also makes accuracy necessary.
I don’t know whether the virus will persist on surfaces. If so, a caliber that doesn’t cause splatter would be better.
A frangible 5.56 would be good if splatter is not an issue, otherwise a .38 / .357 lever rifle with a light load would be a good choice to not carry too far.
For me, Air Rifles have too much arc in their trajectory, as I am not that good a judge of range when a difference of a few feet will put me under or over a target. At a known distance, I have a lot of fun with my air riflle when I can’t get to the range.
John in Indy
lynn · December 21, 2024 at 6:06 pm
I think that 5.56 mm to 6.5 mm should do just fine.
pdx r13 · December 21, 2024 at 6:31 pm
Heavy and subsonic. All-Copper is okay. Know your backstop and shoot low pelvis (backstop is dirt behind target) if on ground. Shotgun in trees.
Miles · December 21, 2024 at 8:19 pm
12 gauge BB shot coyote load.
JaimeInTexas · December 22, 2024 at 8:41 am
With the “infected” part of the equation, maybe poisoned blow darts might be an answer.
Bad Dancer · December 21, 2024 at 8:40 pm
.17HMR or .22mag so you’re not creating as much of a mess or .44 special with a big ol softpoint jacketed bullet.
JaimeInTexax · December 22, 2024 at 8:39 am
What size/kind of monkeys?
Tree Mike · December 21, 2024 at 11:40 pm
In an urban or suburban areas, range and back stops will be critical. 22lr for sub 60 yd shots. 5.56 or 223 with frangible or rapidly expanding varmint loads for any/all available shots. OF COURSE, the shooters have to have insurance.
In my neck of the woods, you can choot um with whatchu brung.
Hank · December 23, 2024 at 6:31 pm
Ya know, when I first saw this post (and the article), I figured you were kidding. Then I saw you had 14 comments that took you seriously. Come back and there’s almost twice as many. Lol. I figure that if anyone knows the answer to that question, it’s YOU!
Hank · December 23, 2024 at 6:35 pm
D’oh, that wasn’t supposed to be a reply, but a comment to the OP, DM.
Tree Mike · December 24, 2024 at 8:56 pm
Hey, the country/world is so bizorrow, that normal folks will discuss almost anything. Maybe it’s some kind of defence mechanism. No conversation is too outlandish compared to what reality might throw at us. A sort of weird contingency planning REALLY unlikely scenarios. Having to figure out what to shoot escaped death monkeys with is extremely unlikely in my neck of the woods. But FLOOR-REEEE!-duh? See? So, pick a caliber. I was serious as a heart attack/death monkey with my choice. I’ve been shooting for 69 years, so obviously you should go with 22lr/5.56. HeHe, hope that was at least a little humorous.
Mcfoster · December 22, 2024 at 12:40 am
Pythons and now Monkeys!
Looks like a Florida red neck huntin trip to me!
You know Momma Boucher down on da bayou got a recipe for a monkey sauce piquant!
And who wouldn’t like a pair a python skin boots??
Boneman · December 22, 2024 at 7:11 am
Boy that’s difficult. If the virus can become airborne you don’t want to vaporize the wee bastages…. I like the idea of elimination and disinfection that’s been bandied about. In the spirit of “Nuke ’em from orbit it’s the only way to be sure”, perhaps a FLAMETHROWER would be best?
MiniMe · December 22, 2024 at 8:47 am
Maybe use Ripley’s approach and nuke the entire site from orbit? (“It’s the only way to be sure.”)
LOL
Terrapod · December 22, 2024 at 10:20 am
I’d say 40 MM incendiary grenade with a napalm follow up. Of course this can get messy if in any setting other than the everglades.
Chris · December 22, 2024 at 5:23 pm
375 H&H Magnum should be sufficient
The Southern Nationalist · December 23, 2024 at 8:59 am
12 guage 00 buck, my favorite.
Comments are closed.