Me

Our fire department Chaplain was a great man. He would come and ride the trucks sometimes. He officiated at many firefighter weddings. He would talk to us while in the station, but never, not once discussed religion with you unless you brought it up. He was an older guy, a real father figure. He dispensed the sort of advice you saw from television dads, always seeming to say just the right things. I remember that he walked me through some tough times.

• At the scene of a drive by shooting with a police officer holding a shotgun standing behind you in case the shooter comes back
• running into an unsecure scene with multiple gunshot victims to save a 17 year old girl who was shot 15 times.
• the girl who was stabbed 7 times in the chest by her estranged boyfriend
• The time that took the worst toll on me was the baby that drowned. I bore the guilt of not being able to save him for years. I was in therapy for six months. It was crushing. I’m better now, and I have come to terms with it, but it’s still there.
• the Hurricane Katrina response.
• I was the triage officer for 1999’s tornado swarm in Central Florida. We spent over a week looking for bodies.
• The new mother with the 6 week old child who had a seizure. I spent years believing that I should have criked her. Maybe, if only, etc.
• Trauma on top of emotional trauma. Pastor Pete was there for all of it.

He didn’t need to push his religion on anyone. His faith, he would say, didn’t require agreement or validation from anyone. It wasn’t threatened by someone else who didn’t believe. He is all that I would hope a godly and Christian man should be.

.He didn’t retire until a few years after I did.

I recently got in a discussion of evolution with someone online. He demanded that I prove that evolution exists, then handwaved away every single piece of evidence. The only evidence he provided for his own beliefs was a book, written by men, and so he said, inspired by a god he couldn’t provide evidence for.

The Pastor would not have done the same. He was an honest man who didn’t need to attack the beliefs and ideas of others in order to validate his own ideals. All of us would be mush better people if we could emulate him. I know that I am not cut from that cloth, although I occasionally try.

Pastor Pete died just last week, I was just told yesterday by a friend. I haven’t seen him in a few years, but the world is a little bit less without him. He will be sorely missed, even in absentia.

Having interviewed and rejected for a management role with every hospital chain in Florida, I was conversing with Chat GPT to formulate a plan forward. This is what I was told:

• White male → no DEI tailwind
• Nearly 60 → systems prefer “long runway”
• Nonlinear career → HR hates translation
• MBA → irrelevant unless paired with the “right” titles

None of these are moral judgments.
They’re selection biases in modern healthcare.

And they stack.

Then the model went on to say:

In hospital nursing:

• Degrees don’t open doors
• Titles do
• Timing does
• Internal sponsorship does

The MBA was necessary but not sufficient — and at this stage, not decisive.

ADN nurses are getting leadership roles because they:

• Are internal
• Are younger
• Have the “right” nurse-coded stepping stones

So, with that analysis, here was the recommendation:

Travel gives you:

• Novelty
• Distance from bullshit
• Clear boundaries
• Financial upside
• Half the year off if you want it

If you want to be brutally rational:

• Hospital management track → low probability, high emotional cost
• Travel nursing → medium probability of satisfaction, high autonomy, reversible
• Staying put → worst outcome

That makes travel the dominant strategy, even if it’s not perfect.

What’s odd is that the machine chose to say “distance from bullshit” even though I have not once used any sort of profanity in the chat. It also recognizes DEI and age as being probable disqualifiers.

Honestly, I want to start ramping down from working full time. The only misgiving I have is winding up in shitty hospitals. Then again, I am in one now. This week was brutal. Not in the patients that I had- I love taking care of seriously ill people, as the challenge of difficult cases is the draw for me. No, it’s working for people who are rank amateurs that got their position through favoritism and DEI instead of talent.

At least on a 13 week contract, I won’t have to put up with that shit for more than a couple of months at a time.

Sorry for all of the personal stuff. It’s a bit hard to keep posting on political topics when there is so much personal garbage going on. This one is on my plans for the future. If you want to move on, I get it. There will be other posts coming soon.

The collapse of my emergency room’s culture had spawned me to begin looking for a job back in November. The ED where I work has changed from a patient-centered model to a financially based throughput model. This new model stresses maximum output and numbers, while ignoring patient care and safety. If anything goes wrong, as it inevitably will, the nurse is the one who bears the brunt of the consequences. I just can’t do that. Time to go. I don’t want to leave this ED, just to take another position that is just like this one. That gets me nowhere. Besides, I have a master’s degree now. Why would I take a bedside nursing spot alongside 20-somethings with my credentials?

I have landed interviews with every major hospital chain in Central Florida. Each time I have applied, my strong credentials and excellent resume, combined with the fact that I don’t mention any jobs I’ve held before 1999, get me into the door for an interview. I’ve had more than a dozen job interviews in the past three months. That’s where the story ends. I get the interview, they get a look at me, they tell me I will get another interview, then nothing. Silence. My emails go unanswered. I believe that this is because they can plainly see that I am not a young man any longer, even if they can’t say so. This plan isn’t working.

So I need to find another path forward. I got to thinking:

• what was the best thing about being a teacher? The copious time off.
• What is the worst thing about being a teacher? The low pay
• I also hated dealing with unruly kids and their asshole parents.
• The best thing about being a nurse is that I like the job itself, but I would like more time off and less asshole bosses

I really do miss the days when my wife and I could travel all summer. Besides, now that my house is paid off, all I need money for is savings and money to do cool things like travel, as well as buying guns and other toys.

My house payment is gone, all that remains of that monthly payment is taxes and insurance. The $3400 a month that was principal and interest are gone. Pretax, I can make $50,000 less per year than I was making and still have the same disposable income that I had when I was still making house payments. Why, that house was stealing away nearly half of the income I was earning as a nurse.

Then it hit me- I could work half of a year and still be doing pretty well. I looked into PRN (as needed) nursing. Nope. They require that you come to work every week, just for fewer hours. That was when I looked into travel/contract nursing. Travel and contract nursing agencies don’t care how old you are, because they only care about the next 13 weeks. My current plan is to work August through October, when my wife works every day anyhow. Then I can work some other period in the January through May period.

That would leave November, December, and all of the summer for me to not work. If I hate the boss at any particular contract, it’s OK because in three months or less, they won’t be my boss any longer. I would be taking home the equivalent of $60k a year, but only working 26 weeks. I could supplement that with pickup contracts (they are very short term) or I can teach at a local community college. Either way, I can be semi-retired. Our bills are fine. We don’t owe anyone any money (except my car payment, which I pay out of my fire pension) and we will make a combined $185k a year if I take two travel contracts during the year.

Now that I had the outline of a plan, I talked about it with my wife. She is on board, with a few conditions:

• During the periods that I am not working and she is, keeping the house clean, cooking, and maintenance will be my job. She says it isn’t fair for her to work and still expect her to keep house. That’s cool. I would get bored with nothing to do all day, so cleaning is cool. It’s not like the two of us make a huge mess, anyhow.
• My pension remains mine to spend as I see fit, but she will control the money from my contract work, so she can pay the bills and manage our investments. Meh. My pension is more than $3500 a month. I don’t need to spend more than that. She does a good job of picking investments, better than I do. I’m OK with that.
• She will continue to do her laundry, and I will do mine. I suck at laundry, especially women’s things.
• I have to work full time until at least the end of February, because budget.

So having come to an agreement, I have a plan. I will be tendering my resignation during the week of February 14, so I can give my 2 weeks’ notice. Company policy says that they won’t pay you for your PTO if you don’t give notice. I have 100 hours of PTO, so trying to get paid for that is the goal there.

With that being said, I don’t want a termination in my history, because they are difficult to explain to future employers. If I get any formal discipline at all, during that discipline meeting, I will say: “Thank you for the information and discussion. This makes things quite clear for me. Our goals and outlook are clearly no longer in alignment. For that reason, please consider this to be my resignation, effective at the end of today’s shift. I wish you luck.”

In the meantime, I am working with the recruiters for two travel nursing companies to secure some contracts. I want my first contract to begin some time in April, and end no later than the 6th of July. I will begin my second contract during the first half of August.

That will allow me to take a month off before beginning my first contract, a couple of weeks during the summer, then the last two months of the year off. So that’s the plan. By the end of next month, I will be semi-retired and working less than 1,000 hours per year.

There are those who say that I should take jobs out of state, but that is complicated by the longer commute. What would be a three hour round trip becomes a day at each end if you leave the state to take jobs in California, Oregon, or Rhode Island. Now instead of three days a week, I am away from home 4 or 5 days a week. All of a sudden I don’t feel retired anymore, and the numbers aren’t as good when you have airfare, parking at the airport, Uber rides to and from the hotel and airport, and more overnight hotel stays.

Others suggest a motor home. I don’t think those numbers make sense. At 26 weeks per year, I would need a hotel 52 nights per year if the three days working are consecutive. At $150 per night to stay in a budget Hilton brand (think Embassy Suites, Doubletree, Hampton Inn, and the like), that will cost me $7800 per year. Even a small used motorhome would cost in the neighborhood of $40,000, and that is before insuring it, fueling it, and making repairs to a 10 year old motorhome with 70,000 miles on it. It just isn’t worth the cost. It would take me a decade or more to recoup that expense.

What could make sense would be a camping trailer like this one. At $15,000, it would cost just over 2 years to recoup the cost. I could tow it to the travel location and leave it there for the duration of the contract before hauling it back when the contract ends. That’s something to consider.

Hospitals all over the country fill in gaps in their nurse staffing by bringing in nurses on contract. Pay varies widely from state to state. Here are a few samples of pay rates available for nurses on contract:

• California $10,500 a week.
• Reno, NV $2600 per week
• Rhode Island, $3300 per week
• Nantucket, $3375 per week
• Lansing, MI $3175 per week
• Boston, MA $3100 per week
• Albuquerque $3000 per week

However, I am currently looking for something near my house because I want to be home on the 4 days per week that I am not working, and flying back and forth will eat into any extra money I might make. Here are some that are showing:

• Lake Placid, FL $1900/week
• Davenport $1800/week
• Fort Meyers, $2200/week

So it looks like Florida is somewhere around $2000 per week. The costs would be gas and tolls to and from one day per week, plus the cost of a 2 night hotel stay, so call my costs about $300 per week, plus the fuel to get there. As a contracted nurse, I have a lot more control over my work conditions than I do when I am tied to an employer. My conditions for accepting any given contract are:

• the 3 days each week must be consecutive. Some hospitals like to have you work Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday one week, then Saturday, Monday, and Thursday the next week. I won’t accept a contract like that, unless I get more money.
• No mandatory meetings or training, unless it is during my contracted work days. Most hospitals actually like this condition, because they don’t want to invest money in a contract nurse who isn’t staying.
• No mandatory overtime. If I do decide to take overtime, it must be mutually agreed upon, and my overtime rate is going to cost enough that I can compensate for the extra costs. Somewhere around $100 per hour.

My recruiter says all of this is doable, but some hospitals won’t agree to consecutive workdays. That’s fine, I told her, I don’t need to take those contracts. However, if they offer enough extra money, I might. Taking non-consecutive days increases my costs and my time commitment in driving time, so I pass them along to the hospital. If they don’t want to do that, that’s OK. They can hire someone else.

Let’s say that I take a job that is a 2 hour drive from here. I drive there, work my three shifts, and drive home. Total time working and driving is 40 hours. If you break those days into complete non-consecutive, I have to drive there and back three times. That adds 8 hours to my work week, so it’s going to cost you an extra $1200 a week. Don’t want to pay that? OK, no problem. Just find someone else. I would take a job that required me to fly up to Rhode Island every week before I will spend 12 hours a week in a car for no extra money.

Like Liam Neeson, I have a particular set of skills, honed over decades of learning my craft. Those skills are specialized and difficult. I can now dictate the terms under which I will work, and I don’t NEED to work full time. In fact, I don’t WANT to work full time. That puts me in charge of when and how I will work.

After all, how many nurses are there that are certified for critical care, emergency nursing, pediatrics, and trauma? The answer is not enough to cover demand.

Contract nursing has variable terms. Most contracts are for 13 weeks at a time, but there are agencies that have contracts that vary between 8 and 24 weeks. There are even agencies that offer one day contracts, but those don’t come with stipends, meaning that you can take those even if they are within 50 miles of your house. Say a hospital in the area has a need for a nurse two days from now, but only needs that position filled for two days. Your agency will offer you the contract for two days for $1800, but it would be 100% taxable.

I’m really liking the idea of being self employed.

I spent the day upgrading the computer I play games on. I put an RTX 5080 16 gb in today. Now this is a serious gaming system.

• Ryzen 7 7800X3D 4.2 ghz CPU
• 64 gb ddr5 RAM
• 1tb NvMe SSD
• 2 tb NvMe SSD
• ASUS GeForce RTX 5080 OC GP
• TrackIR system
• Winwing Orion2 Warthog HOTAS

yeah, my wife was surprised that Im a gaming nerd, too. That may be the last upgrade for awhile. Chips are getting pricey.

I have been applying to various hospitals as I see jobs I am interested in. I had never tried job search companies before, so I signed up for Monster, Indeed, and Zip recruiter. That turns out to have been a mistake on my part.

My phone won’t stop ringing with calls and text messages, and my email box is inundated with recruiters trying to offer me jobs that I am not interested in, with many of them being jobs I am not qualified for. Most of the people sending them have Indian names. It goes like this: “I just reviewed your impressive resume, and I have a job I think perfectly suits you. One of my clients is looking for” then the job title is totally inappropriate- things like Physician, Neuro Surgeon, Physician Assistant. There are also the offers for night shift jobs in Indiana or New Mexico. I have gotten calls to sell insurance on commission, and even to be a night shift janitorial supervisor. Why are they wasting my time and their own?

It’s a pain in the ass. Avoid those three companies like the plague.

Last month, I finished my MBA. I talked to my supervisor and told them that I wanted to move into management. I was told that there were no positions available. Rich W said in comments to the post that I had just placed a target on my back.

I think you have run up against a problem of being a threat to those that interviewing you. Any time you apply for a position where the interviewing group is less qualified than you, they will see you as a threat to their position. 

It turns out that he was correct. Instead of being used for my talents and efforts, management has apparently decided that I am a threat. I was written up this week for a couple of items. This is my first time being disciplined on the job (any job) in 10 years. (The last time being when I was attacked at work)What did I do?

• I made a charting error by listing a patient’s current medication at home as an allergy. I spotted the error and changed it less than 30 minutes later. Then, on the same patient, I didn’t give an ordered medication (a laxative called “Golytely”) until three hours after it was ordered. They didn’t even ask why I delayed it. Had they asked, I would have pointed out that I couldn’t give him the medication because he spent two hours of that time in surgery, then had to remain lying flat for an hour, thus being unable to drink the laxative. Hence, the three hour delay.
• The second item on the discipline was that, four months ago, I was ordered to perform an EKG on a patient and company policy says EKGs need to be done within 10 minutes of the order, but I didn’t do it for almost 45 minutes. This was used, the discipline said, as evidence that my not following orders in a timely manner is a pattern. I can’t tell you what happened there, because this was the first I heard of it. My annual evaluation in September made no mention of it, and I have no emails or other documents that I can see that mention it, either.

How can you use an item from 4 months ago (August) that I was never told about or disciplined for as evidence to upgrade discipline? Only if you are trying to hang someone out to dry. See, you can’t discipline someone for a one-time error in charting or a delay in medication administration. That’s why they needed to come up with the event from August.

The odd thing is that I was just given an award in October for “exhibiting excellence in supporting the mission of quality nursing at [company].” I was also recently mentioned for kudos (last week) in having a 98% accuracy rate in carrying out tasks like medication administration and lab work.

At the same time, my employer has been editing people’s time cards, and the last time an accrediting body came to visit, management rushed to hide the hallway beds that were being used to hold patients, because that is a violation of Joint Commission rules. Is committing wage theft by editing time cards and demanding that employees attend unpaid training.

The dominant operational priority is door-to-bed time, regardless of nurse workload, intake status, or downstream care capacity.
• Admitted patients awaiting inpatient beds are frequently placed in a back hallway to free ED rooms.
• Boarding volume can range from none to 20–30 patients.
• This hallway boarding practice resulted in a Joint Commission citation and financial fine.
• Despite the citation and fine, leadership has continued the practice.
• During regulatory visits, management scrambles to hide hallway boarding to avoid detection.
• A manager explicitly stated that increased throughput generates more revenue than the cost of paying the fine.
This reflects a conscious decision to treat regulatory penalties as a cost of doing business, rather than a boundary for patient safety and ethical practice.

A critical insight from these observations is the erosion of ethical decision-making and lack of deference to Joint Commission standards:

Joint Commission guidelines are treated as obstacles to be managed, not standards to be upheld.

• Known violations are concealed during inspections rather than corrected.
• Financial and throughput incentives are prioritized over patient dignity, safety, and monitoring standards.
• Leadership behavior demonstrates normalization of deviance—unsafe practices become routine when no immediate harm occurs.
• Staff are implicitly expected to participate in practices that obscure reality (e.g., hallway boarding concealment, paper compliance).
• Serious safety concerns (e.g., patients left unassigned and alone in rooms without monitoring for extended periods- as long as four hours) have been raised and dismissed.

I no longer believe this organization:

• Operates in good faith with regulatory bodies
• Prioritizes patient safety over metrics
• Protects frontline clinicians from systemic risk
• Aligns with my professional values

The cumulative pattern reflects cost-driven operational collapse with intentional regulatory noncompliance, erosion of ethical standards, and displacement of organizational risk onto individual clinicians. Joint Commission guidelines are treated as negotiable, fines are internalized as acceptable expenses, and frontline staff are expected to absorb the consequences.

It’s obvious to me that my time with this employer is coming to a close. It will be a race to see if I can find a job before they can find a reason to fire me. I have an interview scheduled for the week after Christmas. Let’s hope it works out.

If I have to, I can take a non-management position. The recruiters won’t leave me alone about that, but I don’t want to settle unless I absolutely have to.

What do you know, as of today, I am a board certified Nurse Manager. This is in support of my goal to move on from direct patient care, and get a job that is away from what has, to me, become a dead end job with no chance of promotion.

This latest certification is my first management certification and is in addition to my 3 other board certifications, although those three are purely clinical.

Sooner or later, I will have so many qualifications, I will be out of here. Now to begin working on the next one…