Off by 44 Days

In December, I said that Russia would start a war within 30 days. Turns out, I was off by 44 days. I am almost as good as the CIA, but at a fraction of the budget. I can increase my accuracy for a couple of billion. In small bills, please. I also promise not to try and overthrow the US government.

I don’t understand why Biden is upset by what Russia is doing. After all, the Russians are just looking for a better place to raise families. Borders are racist, after all.

Thanks for Waking Me Up

Last night, a police officer in a town more than 150 miles away from me was injured in a shooting. At midnight, the police decided to send out a cell phone alert, called a “Blue Alert,” to everyone within several hundred miles of the crime. Why? Who knows?

I had just completed 13 hours of work in the Emergency Room. I was due back at work in only eight hours. (Working for two different departments leads to odd hours.) So I was deep asleep when this stupid shit woke me up. Why do over the 20 million people that live in Florida need to know about a crime that took place in a county with a population of only 22,000 people?

Amber alerts, Silver Alerts, Blue Alerts, Gray Alerts, and whatever other alerts the authorities send out are ridiculous.

The Market Will Adjust

New York state is proposing a law that will essentially make all evictions illegal. In other words, communism stage one.

There is one glaring way out. The law only applies to owners of 5 or more rental units. We’re I an owner of a building with more than 5 units, I would form multiple real estate investment corporations, and sell units to them so that each corporation owns no more than 4 units.

Now get out.