I don’t talk about it a lot. I’ve mentioned it now and again, the fact that I have twice been homeless. Let me explain to you what it’s like.
The Lead Up
I was newly divorced. I divorced my wife because I was working two jobs- for the Fire Department, and as the maintenance director for a steel mill, and she wouldn’t work. Originally, she wasn’t working because the kids were too young and it cost more for daycare than she would make. I was working two jobs to make it happen, then I would come home from work and my wife would tell me it was time for me to mow the lawn. Dinner wouldn’t even be on the table. The house wasn’t clean. She hadn’t done shit all day but watch TV. I got pissed one morning, put the TV on parental lock, and left her a note saying that once the house was clean, she could call me and I would give her the PIN to unlock the TV. That caused a HUGE fight.
Then there came the day that both kids had started school. I told my wife that she could get a part time job during the day. She refused, and said the whole reason she got married was so she wouldn’t have to work. I started feeling like a walking ATM, and told her so. More fights.
Then our female friends started telling the both of us that I was working too hard. After a year of this, during one of my shifts, a woman who worked at the fire department offered me her couch. I never went home again. Two months later, I filed for divorce and got an apartment. My wife accused me of leaving her for the other woman, but didn’t even consider the reasons why I left, even though I told her so.
Losing a Job
While the divorce was pending, the steel mill went into bankruptcy. I was laid off, along with 80% of the rest of the manufacturing division. That hurt, because that job was paying me almost $30k a year, more than I made at the fire department. I did get quite a bit of money out of them later, but that is a story for a later day. Either way, half of my income was now gone.
I was making $1000 every two weeks at the Fire Department. I lost $280 in taxes, leaving me $720 every two weeks. Following the state law formula, the court ordered that I pay $348 to my ex wife, nominally for child support, leaving me with $720 per month to live on. The support was taken from my check before I even saw it, so I wouldn’t be a ‘deadbeat dad.’ The rent on my apartment was $600, then there was electric.
Life Being Homeless
Within two months, I was homeless: I slept on friends’ couches for a couple of weeks. I had been forced to break my lease- I just didn’t have the money. Their wives/girlfriends didn’t like it, they were kinda funny and all, and now my friends were funny, too. (Those of you who get that reference are old, just saying)
So I started living in my car. I got a second job, picking up garbage after the Shamu show at Sea World. That paid less than $7 an hour. I bought a car at a “buy here, pay here.” I wasn’t eating much, I couldn’t afford it. I showered at work. As a perk of the job, the city allowed us to use the gym at the civic center for $20 per month. I joined so I could take showers at the gym. I worked out a lot because the gym was air conditioned.
My meals were wieners and mac n’ cheese. Sometimes I had 7-11 chili dogs, They were cheap. Once a week I treated myself to a drive thru burger. I lost almost 30 pounds that summer, but I was in great shape. I was running the combat challenge in just over three and a half minutes. Not world record time, but respectable. (The standard is 7 minutes or less. At the time, the men’s world record was 1:20, and the women’s was just under 4 minutes, IIRC) Here is what it looks like:
I lived in that car for about three months. I finally found a couple of roommates. There were three of us living in that 3 bedroom apartment: Two men and a woman. I worked two jobs: Fire department and janitor at Sea World. I also went to college at night, so I could make more money.
The point of this story is that I didn’t give up. I didn’t complain about how things were unaffordable. I didn’t stand on the corner and beg for money, nor did I accept charity. I didn’t scream for the government to give me handouts or any of that nonsense.
Today’s bitching and complaining is some weak assed bull crap.
10 Comments
ghostsniper · May 1, 2026 at 9:37 am
Very good. And yes, I get the George Thorogood ref. lol
I had 2 different disparaging and lengthy severe poverty sessions in the late 70’s and early 80’s but I never begged. I slept on a few couches, hitchhiked and walked very long distances, took many miserable temporary jobs (daily labor pool for example) for miniscule money during my constant search for decent employment.
I never gave up, I always knew that my day would come. Little by little it started working out. By 1984 I was working a very good job, got married that year, had a son the next year, and in 1986 I started my own business which I still run to this day.
My story was pretty rough and I don’t really like thinking about those times.
I can empathize with the people I see at the corner holding hand scrawled signs, but I can’t sympathize with them nor will I give them my coin. They have to figure it out on their own.
Gov’t handouts do not help anyone, they only entrap them. All of society is worse off because of the handouts. Gov’t welfare is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
John Leidorf · May 4, 2026 at 5:42 pm
Now I need one bourbon one scotch and one beer.
Echo Hotel · May 1, 2026 at 9:40 am
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer…
hh475 · May 1, 2026 at 9:44 am
I admire your resiliency. The only quibble I have with what you wrote is that I believe there is nothing wrong with accepting charity. I also had some lean times, and without the support of my family and church, I would have fallen apart. However, with their help, I made it. I have a young relative who is just starting out in his own business. It’s a service business and he’s working his ass off — but it requires a fair amount of equipment to be competitive. So, the wife and I gave him the funds to get started. It’s not a loan. If he’s not successful, he’s not in the hole with me. If he is successful, then I’ll expect him to pay it forward.
Some years ago, I was a Deacon at my local church working with the benevolent fund. People would come to us in need of help with electric bills, food, daycare, etc. For about 70% of the people, the charity was how they made it, and they would be on charity for most of their lives. It was for many reasons. About 30% of the people had crashed but were building their lives back up. They just needed a hand to help get them through the hard spots. I’ve had some of that 30% come back a year or two later and tell us that had we not helped them, they may not have gotten out of the debt spiral that kills so many lives.
I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with accepting charity. And, in your case, I would assert that crashing with friends and accepting meals and such is a form of charity.
There *is* something wrong with abusing it and giving up. I can remember women coming in to church with kids in their arms asking for money to pay rent or the electric bill or whatever. Then they’d take the money and buy drugs. It got to the point that we told people coming in with that story that to bring in the bill and we’d pay it. They’d turn around and walk out and not come back.
TJ · May 1, 2026 at 9:58 am
Ran out of money while hitch-hiking from Mexico back to familiar territory in Illinois. That became my ‘summer in Austin’ life-event. Could not afford a burger on day one. Worked as a carney for a while, then as a cook in an all-night pancake house, and then finally got my own place. Very much a life-lesson period in my life. Poverty is not fun, but it will teach you indelible, invaluable lessons. Navy nuke-in-training a year later. God is good. Not nice. But good.
Grumpy51 · May 1, 2026 at 12:27 pm
Our generation is just “different.” I think our basic backgrounds are somewhat similar.
During my nursing education days, I slept in the back of my car (Chrysler Cordoba) at a local gym parking lot. Awoke, SSS (if you know, you KNOW) and went to clinicals.
Granted, I was blessed to have married up…. And still almost 40 years later.
The bottom line, as your example suggests, quit the bitching and start doing.
JM · May 1, 2026 at 1:17 pm
(Those of you who get that reference are old, just saying)
But I don’t *feel* old!
I got laid off in the middle of February, rocking a child support bill of $3400.00 a month. My case is with the AG’s office for a reason that nobody can explain to me, so I can’t see anyone face to face unless I possibly drive to Austin. The state AG phone number tells you that you must use the chat function. Chat function didn’t work. I sent a letter requesting a temporary reduction (no income and no prospects) on Feb 19th. I got a letter *last week* from the AG.
The letter informed me that they were able to … schedule a Zoom call to discuss my situation in mid July. That’s 17k in debt hanging over my head, which is exactly what I was trying to mitigate. And no, my ex and her new husband don’t need it. Losing that money didn’t even cause a hiccup.
Mike · May 1, 2026 at 1:18 pm
Good on ya. That is how it is supposed to be done.
James · May 2, 2026 at 9:59 am
I have given many friends who through no fault of their own ended up in tough times a hand up whether financially/a couch etc.
I see no problem with doing this,feel tis just being a friend.
As society we need a safety trampoline,not a safety net(nets are for capturing things),the trampoline helps folks bounce back which I feel is a benefit to society as a whole,do feel said trampoline should be voluntary to contribute to.
C · May 2, 2026 at 10:51 pm
Still think things suck way more now.. Especially since we imported a shit ton of foreign savages into our country since your time. Along with dumping trillions into defective and obsolete farm equipment. Let’s not mention gutting the legendary industrial base that your grand parents built.
You won’t see me arguing for handouts. Just demanding the immediate halt to the import of jeets, chinks, jungle bunnies, ragheads, and burrito goblins. Which is probably funny coming from a half breed like myself. Hell. Just to make it fair. No Limeys, Micks, Dagos, Ruskies, etc. either.
In addition to that demand. Shutting off of the gibs. Mass deportations of the previously mentioned savages. A three year ban on Narcan. A revision of EMTALA giving more power to healthcare workers. Reintroduction of wolves, pumas, jaguar, and introduction of sterilized Nile Crocodiles in rural areas with vagrant camps. Also the firing squad for anyone and everyone selling out our country to Joe Chink.
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